A Cold, White Christmas
by EdwardsBloodType
Summary: Two years have passed since Edward left Bella in the woods. She has gone off to college, but returns home to Forks for Christmas break. Christmas will be miserable again this year, or will it?
1. Chapter 1 Coming home

_All of the beautiful Twilight characters are Stephanie Meyer's. I claim no ownership._

T**wo years after New Moon...Bella never jumps, No werewolves have appeared, Edward never comes back. Bella has gone off to college in Washington.**

**_This is my first Fanfiction ever. Please read and review. This chapter is long, but I needed to give alot of background to go forward with the story. I rated it M for future chapters._**

**Bella's POV**

I had been back home in Forks for exactly 27 hours and already I had had my fill of this bedroom. I drove 8 exhausting hours from Pullman,Washington and Charlie had taken off work early to make sure he was there to greet me after the long drive. In my head, I had explained to him a hundred times why I was coming home for Christmas break and not going back to Washington University. Why I was taking the spring semester off from college.

Regardless of the reasons I knew he would never seem to understand unless I told him that I was on the verge of a _breakdown._ I knew for sure that the mention of a breakdown would have him in complete agreement with whatever I wanted. He couldn't handle watching me go through another one. It was the stress of taking 18 credits a semester, adding Summer and Winter courses and working part time in the library. Let's not forget working on the school paper and the tutoring I had taken on to pay for the new car I couldn't afford.

I was mentally and physically drained and on the verge of tears nearly every day. I knew he was not strong enough to watch me endure another breakdown. I was much farther ahead of schedule as I was set to graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in three years instead of four. So, I held off on letting him in on my hiatus. But I think he grew suspicious when he saw all the luggage I brought home.

"Laundry, Dad...lot's of laundry." Well, it wasn't exactly a total lie. I would find the courage to be honest....eventually.

I was deluded into thinking that submerging myself in school would keep my mind too busy to allow the thoughts of the past two years to break through. It did distract me for a while, but no matter what activities I was involved in, how many classes I took and how busy I made myself, _he _was always at he back of my mind waiting to pounce whenever I thought I was beginning to get over it. Over _him_. I was still not able to say his name out loud. If and when I was forced to, it was in barely inaudible whispers.

Two years had passed since he left me in the woods. Two years and three months, actually. I had not heard a word from him since or from any of the Cullen's for that matter. I always kept my ears open for word that they were spotted while someone was on vacation abroad or possibly attending classes at a university somewhere, but I never heard a thing. I just wanted some reassurance that they were alright.

I did _see_ him three times though. Or at least, I imagined I saw him. He "appeared" twice on campus and once in my room at Charlie's house a few months after he left. I know I imagined the sightings, but each time I thought I saw him lurking in the shadows, the wound in my chest was ripped open once again sending me right back to that rainy day in the forest.

I had made my peace with the fact that Edward didn't love me... didn't want me, but I was more than furious with him for taking away Alice. She didn't even say goodbye and she was the best girl friend that I had ever had. I was forced to mourn her as well.

Coming home to Forks now was like being punched in the stomach. It hurt to be here, but I had nowhere else to go. At my mother's insistence, I spent last Christmas break with her and Phil in Texas. Phil was playing for some minor league team there and I just couldn't bear to spend any amount of extended time with her. She was so sunny and happy and in love, and that was the last thing I needed to witness.

I much preferred to wallow in my own sadness. A part of me needed the pain to keep reminding me that it was real. That I had not dreamed it. That the last two years of my life were not wasted mourning the loss of ...the only love I had ever known. The loss of a family that had taken me in as one of their own. The only physical proof of the existence of my vampires was the scar on my forearm that Dr. Cullen stitched up on my 18th birthday and the icy cold half moon on my hand courtesy of James.

So for a few months of desperately needed rest, I chose the less torturous option and semi- reluctantly went back to Charlie's. He spent most of his time with Sue Clearwater these days anyway. Since Harry passed on, their relationship had gotten very serious, and I think Charlie was on the verge of making an actual commitment. I was happy that after 20 years apart from Renee, he had finally found love again.

It seemed as if everyone around me was able to find someone they wanted to be with. Even Jacob was slowly moving on. The summer after I graduated high school Jacob and I spent almost every day together. We went through all the motions of being a couple except for the physical aspect. I was not able to be intimate with him in the slightest way because I was still so damaged. I had been holding on to the idea that Edward would come back for me, that he would realize he made a wrong choice. And though I couldn't really admit it to myself, just in case he did come back, I wanted to remain untouched for him. I never said it out loud, but Jacob knew. He was very aware that he was never going to be what Edward was to me.

I suppose it was bound to happen eventually, but we got in a terrible argument over it the night before I first left for school and things had been strained between us. He had yelled at me for allowing that "stupid bloodsucker" to continue to ruin my life even though he was no longer in it. Jacob harbored anger for a long time, and I knew I had hurt him badly. And for what? For a boy that never even loved me.

Eventually, we resumed our friendship, and our relationship blossomed once again. On school breaks and holidays, I would come back and hang with Jacob. But it wasn't really the same as before. Jacob knew in his heart that I would never feel for him the way he wanted me to. And I was forever trying to make up for that.

So now, here I was back in my little bedroom in Forks. I sat at the edge of the bed snapping a brown rubber band against my wrist. I was hoping that if I stared at the suitcases long enough they would unpack themselves. Being in this room was like being stuck in a virtual time warp. Nothing had changed in years. Myself included. Well, except for the makeup I now wore. It was a funny thing. I noticed when my face was colorful, people would stop constantly asking me what was wrong. It was a great mask.

Trying to kill some time, I checked the emails that were piling up. Two from Renee, one from Angela and mostly junk mail. And one from Ryan. I groaned as I clicked on his mail.

_Bella, _

_Do you have my Blue Washington State sweatshirt? Send it back if you do. You know the address._

_Ryan_

Ugh... Ryan. He was my half hearted attempt at having a normal relationship. When I say attempt , I use that word loosely. Ryan was sweet and handsome and really smart, but nothing he did made me feel the way I needed to feel. We went on a bunch of dates, kissed a lot and then the night we were about to have our first really intimate moment, I "saw" Edward standing in the corner of his room and I completely freaked out. I cried for over an hour and couldn't tell him why. What was I supposed to do, tell him that I just saw my vampire ex- boyfriend hovering in the dark shadows of his dorm room?

He basically called me a Psycho and refused to even speak to me again. I suppose it was selfish of me to try to have a relationship with someone when I was still completely in love, and blindly obsessed with someone else. It was doomed before it even began. I didn't blame Ryan for his reaction, as childish as it may have been.

I was a twenty year old virgin still hung up on my vampire ex boyfriend who left me because his brother tried to kill me. Oh, and my best friend Jake is in love with me.

And that's exactly why I couldn't go into therapy.

I wrote back to Ryan telling him I saw his roommate wearing the sweatshirt three days ago. The rubber band that I had been playing with shot across the room and settled under the bed. As I bent down to lift the dusty bed skirt, the wood under neath my palm creaked and lifted the old floorboard a few inches.

"Crap." I pressed my palm into the floor to push it back down.

That's when I noticed a flash of silver gleaming from underneath. I pounded my fist with all the force I could manage on the opposite end and the board came flying up smacking me in the forehead. I was definitely going to have a bruise. As I rubbed the throbbing welt on my forehead, I peered into the hole in the floor.

I gasped and felt my mouth drop open. My heart began to race. Nestled between the beams of the sub floor was a piece of folded white paper. On top of it rested a shiny silver CD._ Not possible, I thought to myself. This was here the whole time?_ I lifted out the treasure, and darted across the room to my old CD player gently placing the disc in. As the sweet notes drifted through the air the warmth of the tears streaming down my cheeks splashed onto the folded paper I was still holding. I sunk to my knees and unfolded the paper. Written in his beautiful handwriting were the words_ Be Safe._ It was the note he left for me in my car years ago. Staring at me was the face I tried so hard to remember and equally as hard to forget; the photos he snatched from my scrapbook.

The day he left me in the woods, Edward had taken the pictures of himself out of my scrapbook along with the CD he made me for my birthday. He had promised to make it "as if he never existed." It made our ending all the more devastating because he took all the tangible evidence of our time together. But here they were. Proof of the life I once had, the life I was so desperately trying to cling to. I traced my fingers over the face in the photo remembering what his skin felt like. The outline of his jaw. How his lips were icy cold as they pressed against mine. His delicious scent...

The memories flooded my head. Biology class...the restaurant in Port Angeles...his Volvo...my old red truck...our meadow...our first kiss...James...the prom...my birthday... the woods...

Sobbing, I crawled up into my bed and cradled the precious photos as I eventually fell asleep to the sweet notes of the piano.

I dreamed of Edward.

When I woke hours later, the ache in my chest was the most prominent feeling and secondary was the stinging in my eyes from crying. I immediately looked at the pictures and tucked them into the top drawer of my nightstand.

Maybe I should have gone to Texas after all. I was picturing myself in the hot sun wearing cowboy boots and spurs when I heard the phone ring. I slumped off the bed and descended slowly downstairs to the phone.

" Hello?" I whispered.

"Bells? It's Jake. Merry Christmas!"

"Yeah....Fa la la la la", I said sarcastically. "Christmas is three day away."

" What's with you, Grinch?" he said annoyed. " So you sick of unpacking yet?"

I laughed. " I haven't even begun...I got side tracked looking over some old photos." Edward's face flashed in my mind.

"Oh. So... were all going down to the beach Saturday night for a bonfire. You have to come. Quil and Embry are dying to see you and I really want you to meet Shayne.

"Uh Jake...It's December. It's going to be freezing by the beach. " The beach? Were they nuts?

"Yeah, I know." He said, like it was so obvious. "Hence the _bonfire. _Come around six. Me me at my house and we'll all go down together. " He stated as if I had already agreed to come. I laughed at Jake's use of the word _hence._

I thought about it for a minute. As badly as I wanted to say no, I just couldn't. Besides, I really did want to meet Jacob's new girlfriend Shayne. Maybe it would be better for me to not be alone.

"OK Jake," I said hesitantly, " I'll see you Saturday, then."

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"I'm really glad you're home."

"Thanks. I guess I am too." I lied.


	2. Chapter 2 Settling In

**Chapter 2**

When I woke the next morning, Charlie was already gone for the day. I decided to spend the better part of the morning cleaning the house. It was amazing how much dust could accumulate from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Charlie had hauled out the boxes of old Christmas decorations and the musty smell was giving me a headache.

Christmas. UGH!!! It was three days away and the looming thought of the holidays made my stomach turn. I usually got caught up in the nostalgia of the season and actually enjoyed celebrating. But in my dismal state, it hurt to be festive about anything. Thankfully, Charlie wasn't the type to be easily influenced by eggnog and mistletoe. He did have a small decorated tree nestled in a corner of the living room, but I suspect that was more Sue's idea than Charlie's. Sue had invited us over to her house for Christmas Eve. Charlie offered to work overtime on Christmas Day so his partner could spend the day with his kids. I truly didn't mind being alone.

I finally headed upstairs to face the inevitable. If I was going to be here for a few months, living out of suitcases would be a huge inconvenience. It didn't take long, and I was elated at the fact that it was done. I had mentally patted myself on the back for not looking at the pictures that were stuck in the back of my nightstand. I decided to head down to Newman's Outdoor store to buy Charlie a new fishing pole for Christmas.

As I drove through the colorfully decorated streets, the rain finally stopped long enough to actually see the details on the plastic Santas. Every station on the radio played Christmas music. I threw in a CD and my thoughts shifted back to the hole in my floor. _Stop it Bella!!!_

The little town of Forks was decorated in hundreds of twinkling lights and garland. I noticed a big sign announcing that there was supposed to be some kind of old fashioned festival thing here tomorrow night. I parked in front of the store and headed in.

Mrs. Newman was behind the counter in a red velvet dress trimmed with white fur. She beamed when she saw me and screamed for Mike to come out of the stockroom. After we awkwardly hugged, Mike and I chatted about school and how much he hated coming home for breaks because he was forced to work at the store for no pay. He helped me find the pole Charlie wanted and he casually asked me to join him here for the festival.

He enticed me by mentioning all our old friends would be joining him here. Even though my relationship with most of my high school friends dwindled down in our senior year, they still remained loyal. It went unsaid, but they knew how much Edward's leaving had hurt me, and they didn't dare turn their backs on someone so pathetically lonely. The only person I currently kept in touch with was Angela, and that was through emails and an occasional phone call. I muttered something to him about having plans, but maybe I would come afterward. The last thing I needed was to go on a date with Mike Newman. But seeing Angela and Ben, and even Jessica, who I did not leave on the best terms with, would be really nice.

I gently placed the pole in the back seat of my car and walked across the street to buy wrapping paper. It was freezing outside and I threw my scarf over my mouth to keep the wind from biting my face. The street was busy with people last minute gift shopping. Inside the drug store, I found the wrap and some tape and waited patiently on line to pay. The cashier handed back some change and some dollar bills. As I was stuffing the change into a donation box in the vestibule, the huge automatic doors opened and a gush of wind blew the dollar bills right out of my hand into the frigid air.

That's when I saw him.

He was standing across the street next to a lamppost covered in rope of green garland. Our eyes met and before I could blink he was gone. I ran to the sidewalk and frantically searched for him only to find cheerful families drinking cocoa and children peering hopefully into store front windows. What was going on with me? It was as if my mind was playing a cruel little game of Hide and Seek starring Edward Cullen. Not a fun game. Even if for some reason it actually was him, his swift disappearance made it clear that he did not want to see me.

I headed toward my car, embarrassed, at not only the fact that I was chasing things that weren't there, but for doing it so as if my life depended on it.

When I got back into my car, I cranked the heat and blinked back the tears that were forming. The realization that I was slowly losing my mind set in. This would definitely be the worst Christmas ever.


	3. Chapter 3 Old Friends, New Enemies

_**OK, so I am not a Jacob fan, and I gave him very little love here...sorry. But after the crap he pulled in Eclipse, he deserves a good kick in the ass.**_

**All the Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 3**

_This was so stupid. Who goes to the beach when it's 20 degrees out side? _I had dressed as warmly as I possibly could, now sweating from all the layers. Jacob better really appreciate this, I thought. He was waiting at his front door for me looking like a cross between an Eskimo and the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man. There were several others crammed inside the tiny house waiting for me to arrive. Embry and Quil greeted me warmly, and even Seth Clearwater waved hello. Jacob smiled brightly when I entered, and crossed the little room to introduce me to Shayne. She was tiny, shorter that me with shoulder length auburn curls and piercing blue eyes. She looked like a porcelain doll. She was soft spoken and from what I could initially tell, very sweet. I watched how she looked adoringly up at Jacob, who for the most part seemed to return her admiration.

We headed down the path in the woods that led to First Beach. There were already a dozen or so kids beginning build a fire in the center of the sand._ I hate coming here_, I thought. It was such a beautiful place, yet so sad for me. This beach was where Jacob and I first spoke. It was where I was told the Quileute story of the_ Cold Ones_ and when I realized that Edward and his family were indeed, vampires. Just another painful reminder of what I no longer had. How simple it was then. If I knew then what I knew now, would I have even even spoken to Edward? Would I have just completely stayed away from him? Was going through the pain of the last few years worth the few months I had with him? Yes. Absolutely.

Down at the beach, Embry and I chatted about school and whether or not he should go to college. He was more interested in beer and girls than an actual education, but who could blame him really? Since I was the last person to partake in the typical college shenanigans, I urged him to live it up while he could. Jacob joined our conversation, and eventually, Embry left to roast some marshmallows. Jacob put his arm around my shoulders and asked what I thought of Shayne.

"She's really pretty Jake. Young though. I thought you liked older women." I winked at him.

He laughed and said "I do, but they don't seem to like me back." I stuck my tongue out at him like a five year old and nudged him in the ribs. He chided, "If you weren't still hung up on that _blood.._."

"Don't start." I cut him off. "Please Jake, not tonight, OK?"

"Sorry. Holidays are still rough for you, huh?" His tone was concerned and caring, not a typical thing for Jacob when it came to chat about my bloodsucker. Er, my ex- bloodsucker.

" Yeah, it's hard being home. Lot's of reminders. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it OK?"

I noticed Shayne sitting alone and swore I caught her give me the evil eye.

"Jake, I think Shayne..." , but before I could finish, a handful of marshmallows came flying toward Jacob's head.

He turned around and yelled, " This means war!" and shot off to gather a marshmallow arsenal.

I wove through the marshmallow storm and sat down on the bench next to Shayne. We watched the boys prove their manhood by who could peg each other harder with the squishy treats. The warmth of the bonfire flames seared through my body and I shivered because my back was still so cold. We sat there for a while making small talk and laughing at the boys. I learned she was a Sophomore and she was a cheerleader. She didn't seem at all Jacob's type. Then our small talk took an awkward turn.

" Jacob speaks very highly of you." She was soft spoken and made eye contact with me for the first time since we'd been chatting.

"Oh, well... I speak highly of Jacob as well. He's a great guy." I smiled flattered and turned to look at her.

"I know." She said. " I am so lucky we met. He treats me like I am the most important person in the world. Were, like, soul mates, you know?" She emphasized the words i_n the world _and _soul mates. _Shayne placed her hand out in front of us, tilting it slightly to show off a silver ring with a blue center stone. "See what he got me for Christmas? It matches my eyes. He's so thoughtful." Her tone was boastful and I recognized what she was doing. Shane was marking her territory. I had no competition with this girl.

"Jacob is very lucky as well." I said trying to reassure her.

" I waited a long time to find someone as nice as him, and I won't let anything get in the way of that". She said it as sweetly as she could muster, but her tone was peppered with warning. _A long time, I thought. You are what, twelve?_

"Shayne, I have no interest in Jacob romantically. He is nothing more that a friend to me. He was there for me when I truly needed a friend, and I will always be grateful to him for that. But trust me, I won't get in the way of your relationship." I was curious if Jacob was aware of this side of his new love.

" That's good, Bella, because I wouldn't want him to suddenly have to not be friends with you anymore." She stood up, waved over her shoulder and said dryly, "Nice talking to you."

Wow. I felt like I had been verbally assaulted. It was really none of my business, but I debated whether to warn Jacob about her facade. Maybe he already knew her true colors. I decided that I would stay as far away as I could from further confrontation. Eventually, Jacob would figure it out.

The boys were sliding whatever marshmallows they has left onto sticks and charring them in the flames. I was so uncomfortable now, with Shayne's warning that I really didn't even want to be there anymore. Not to mention that I was unreasonably cold and not feeling at all social. I searched for Jacob and found him with one arm around Shayne and the other with a flaming marshmallow on the end of it. As I approached him, I noticed her glare at me.

" Jake, I'm gonna get going." Before he could protest, I lied and said, "I am really not feeling well and I think I should get out of the cold." I tried to muster a smile.

Jacob protested, offering to stick me under his jacket, which of course infuriated Shayne by the look on her face. He was genuinely disappointed, but he hugged me anyway and waved goodbye. Lesson learned, I thought to my self as I walked back up the beach to my car: Never judge a book by its cover.

*****

It was still early, and I really didn't want to head home to an empty house. I remembered the festival in town and decided to take a chance that my old friends may still be there. There were people swarmed everywhere, singing carols around the massive tree in the town square. There wasn't an empty parking space in sight, so after circling around a few times, I headed down a side street and parked under a streetlight. It would take some effort to find Mike in this crowd. I shimmied through the masses, my eyes darting for familiar faces. After an hour, I was ready to give up.

"Bella!" I turned at the sound of my name and caught sight of Angela. I wove in and out of the crowd toward her direction and when I finally reached her we hugged. She was there with Ben, and of course Jessica. Eric was there with his girlfriend, a cute little blonde girl named Jamie. The awkward tension between Mike and Jess was clearly evident; their relationship had fizzled out despite the effort of trying to make it work through college. Their body language was unmistakably hostile. I made small talk with her and the others as we walked through the crowded square heading toward the coffee shop.

After we ordered hot chocolates and found a table near the big glass window, Angela held out her hand to show off a sparkling engagement ring. Ben beamed at her proudly, announcing their wedding date set for the summer. The glow on Angela's face shined as brightly as her ring.

We laughed and chatted about school and future plans, and how much we missed the ease of high school compared to college. Then Jamie innocently asked what we all missed most about being in high school, and I knew from the uncomfortable silence when it was my turn to answer that they already knew what I missed most.

Angela quietly asked, "Have you heard from him, or Alice even?" I shook my head no, and shrugged my shoulders. " It was just a high school crush to him, I guess. I am sure he's happy somewhere, wherever he is. It's been two years. If he hasn't contacted me by now, he never will. Anyway," I said trying to change the subject, " has anyone heard from Lauren?" I really didn't care if they did, but I had to get the subject off of Edward Cullen.

Mike began to speak, but I couldn't concentrate on his words. I stared out the window into the square. Through the crowd outside, I swear I caught a glimpse of him again, his bronze hair blowing slightly in the cold breeze. I blinked once and again, he was gone. I had no intention of chasing after him now. This was out of control, I thought to my self. I can't stay in Forks if I constantly keep imagining him here. I considered heading to my mother's and then quickly reconsidered. Was it really so bad seeing him all the time, even if he was just a creation of my imagination?

"Bella?Bella? Earth to Bella," Jessica said waving her hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my daydream to find them all staring at me. "Did you hear what Eric said? He saw Rosalie and Emmet in Paris this summer."

"In France?" I asked surprised. "Was it just them or were any others Cullens with them?" My heart had stopped.

"No, just the two of them, and I wasn't about to talk to them either." He said. "Rosalie scares the hell out of me, and that Emmet guy is huge, man." Eric chuckled nervously. We all agreed, laughing.

When we finished our drinks we headed back out side. I was still in a daze and felt a headache coming on, and the cold biting at my face didn't help. I decided to call it a night head home to get some sleep.

When we said our goodbyes, Mike turned to me and quietly said, "He's a real jerk Bella. I would have never...um, anyway, they're reporting a snowstorm for tomorrow night, so be careful driving. Merry Christmas!"

I quickly hugged him goodbye, thankful for the warning but at the same time cringing. As I walked away toward my car, I could feel Jessica's eyes burning through my back.


	4. Chapter 4 Just Plain Stupid

**All the Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Please, please, please review...I need to know if this is total crap or not!!!!**

**Chapter 4**

"Bella, we're going to be late!" Charlie yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"Just go ahead, Dad. I'll be there as soon as I find my charger." I called back exasperated. I was looking for my cell phone charger, missing since I had arrived in Forks.

"Bells, they're calling for snow tonight. I don't think your car can handle it. Just hurry up and ride with me in my truck." Charlie was clearly irritated.

Frustrated, I ran to the stairs. "The snow isn't supposed to start until after midnight, and we won't be there that late. Besides, they say it's just going to be a dusting."

"Fine." He sighed exasperated. "Don't forget the pies." The door slammed behind him.

I knew from the edge in his voice that he was nervous. He and Sue were having their first holiday together and he didn't want to be disrespectful by being late.

After another 20 minutes of searching for the stupid charger, I gave up and threw the dead phone on my desk. Taking one last look in the mirror, I brushed a stray lint off of my black pants and smoothed the neckline of the pale pink sweater my mother sent in the mail.

Opening the fridge, I carefully grabbed the pies I had made earlier and headed to the car. It was definitely colder tonight, if that was even possible.

Once I got to the Clearwater's, I put on a happy face and acted as if celebrating Christmas wasn't slowly killing me inside. Sue had the house decorated so pretty and there were amazing smells coming from every room. We sat down to eat, taking the roles of a real family, with Sue and Charlie at one end of the table, and Seth, Leah, Leah's boyfriend Michael and myself at the other. Sue's cooking had a lot to be desired, unfortunately for Charlie. I ate very little, knowing there was lasagna at home.

While the girls cleared the table, Charlie, Michael and Seth headed for the television to bond over some football game. It was uncomfortable for me because, somehow, I knew Leah didn't care for me. I think maybe she resented Charlie for taking the place of her father. I knew first hand how hard it was missing someone at the holidays, even if our situations were vastly different.

Once dessert and coffee was served, I relished at the fact that the night was coming to a close. It was nearly 7 pm and the snow had begun to fall in big, chunky puffs. Once I said good bye to the Clearwater's and thanked Sue, Charlie walked me to the door.

"Bella, be careful driving, please." The concern in his voice was evident.

" Dad, I will be fine. I'm only 15 minutes from home and the snow hasn't even covered the grass yet."

"Hey, Bells, I am real sorry about tomorrow. I hate leaving you all alone" , he apologized.

I kissed him on the cheek and replied, " Dad, I am fine, Please stop worrying about me. It's a great thing you are doing, letting your partner spend Christmas with his kids. I''ll see you when you get home tomorrow night, OK? I made lasagna."

He hugged me, an unusual gesture for him and said, "I won't be home too late tonight."

Heading out to my car, I waved back to him and got in. The snow was definitely coming down harder now, causing an eerie silence in the atmosphere._ Dusting, my ass_. I drove slowly down the side streets to toward the main highway and turned on the radio to some Christmas tunes. The streets were practically desolate. I drove carefully, and under the speed limit, concerned that my little impractical sports car would be a death trap on the slippery pavement.

What a dumb move, buying a car because of its color. I said aloud to myself, " Next week I am going to trade it in for a nice, safe SUV."

My little car was a beautiful shade of a golden light amber. It caught my attention immediately at the dealership, and Charlie was adamant about me not getting it. Defiantly, I went back by myself the next day and bought it, simply because I loved the little gold flakes that glimmered in the paint. It was the same shade as Edward's eyes immediately after hunting.

The trees were now covered in huge snowflakes, the grass no longer visible. I drove slowly still, taking caution to keep both hands on the wheel. The sign to turn North on the one oh one toward Charlie's was a few hundred feet up ahead. But on impulse, I kept going straight. Straight would be a bad decision, a really, terribly bad decision, but I didn't care. Straight would take me to the turn where I would find the Cullen's former home.

It had occurred to me that maybe I wasn't crazy. Could it be possible that Edward was really here, and it wasn't my imagination? I thought of how I would explain doing a drive- by if he caught me. It's not like I could even see the house from the road. But maybe if there were lights on in the house, they would be visible from here? No, I would have to drive down the long winding driveway to even see the house.

So maybe he _was_ here for some odd reason. Maybe they all moved back to Forks. Well, obviously, if they did, Edward wanted nothing to do with me, as he kept disappearing every time he saw me. I laughed out loud at how ridiculous I was being. I was stalking imaginary ghosts in a snowstorm. The daughter of the town police chief, a full blown stalker._ Ryan was right, I was a Psycho._

It had been quite some time since I was at this house and I wasn't even sure I would be able to find the turn off. I assumed it had been years since anyone even maintained it, so the driveway would probably be overgrown with _green things. _I kept driving down the desolate road, looking for the turn off but still couldn't spot it in the blizzard that had encroached upon me. Finally, I saw what looked like the road and turned into it. After driving a few minutes, I realized that this was definitely not the right road There were steep hills that dove down either side of this road. The road to the Cullen's was flat forest. It was time to give up this ridiculous quest and turn back toward home.

"Bella, could you possibly be any more stupid?" I said aloud, angry at myself. At this point, I was completely lost. I tried to make a three point turn, to change direction on the narrow road, but the tires on my car just spun. I threw it into reverse, and the car moved about a foot and then the tires spun again. Once more in drive and the car went no where. I was definitely stuck. The snow was about a foot deep now and I could barely see a thing ahead of me. I fumbled in my purse for my phone. Charlie was so right about this car.

"Crap!Crap! Crap! Crap!" I screamed, remembering my phone was on my desk at home, dead. My head fell into the steering wheel in realization that I would have to walk in the snow to the main road. The button under the dash clicked and opened up my trunk. I fumbled around the trunk for something to carry with me as a weapon, but there was nothing but some school books, an umbrella and of course, my lost cell phone charger.

"Perfect." I mumbled putting on my gloves and scarf. I was cursing myself for wearing these boots. They were sleek black leather and had a slim three inch heel. I only wore them because I knew I wouldn't be doing any extensive walking tonight. Heels and clumsy girls do not mix except when

there's lots of sitting involved. I kept my purse on me figuring if they found me dead on the side of the road, I would at least have identification.

The snowflakes had grown tremendous. The huge cottony puffs were falling at an incredible rate, making a curtain of white through the wooded road. My feet were beginning to freeze, as the moisture had seeped through the leather boots in the first five minutes of my trek. I walked about what felt like an hour, three times the amount of time it took to drive down the road.

The snow made it impossible to see anything and the wind was whipping at my face. It was probably smarter to stay in my car with the heat on and wait for someone to find me. It was so like me to figure out what was the smarter thing to do, once I had already done the dumber thing. The snow was almost to me knees now, and it was getting harder to walk, with my frozen toes and the stupid heels.

I was completely soaked and terribly cold and beginning to become very frightened. Up ahead, I saw a the lights of a car pass and I knew I was nearing the main road. I ran, hoping to flag down the car before it got too far. The heel snapped on my boot, sending me flying face first into the snow. As I tried to stand up, I slipped on an icy patch and fell back, this time tumbling down the steep hill that edged the road. My body was thrown around like a rag doll, bouncing from bush to rocks until a large tree finally stopped the momentum.

Raising my hand to my head, I felt a lump forming and realized the wetness was blood. I had hit my head pretty hard and had the wind knocked out of me, but it was not nearly as bad as the gaping hole in my pants that was oozing blood. A broken branch must have sliced my thigh as I tumbled down the hill. Scooping up snow, I rubbed the wound, trying to clean off some of the blood. The smell of it instantly made me nauseas. I held back the heaves that begged to come and told myself that I had to focus on getting back to the road. When I stood up, a burning pain seared through my thigh.. Trying to hobble up a steep snow covered hill, with one heel on my boot, a head wound and a six inch gash on my thigh was no easy task.

Every time I managed to make it up a few feet, I would slip and fall back down, screaming in pain. There was no way I was going to get up that hill unassisted. I thought if I could find a tree branch, I could use it as a cane. But at this point, everything was covered in snow. I couldn't see any tree branches or anything else for that matter. I decided to walk along the slope of the hill, holding on to tree trunks for support.

This situation was bad, horrible in fact. I was completely frozen, in a great deal of pain, which I tried to pretend wasn't there, and making very little progress. I knew the main road was right there, but if I couldn't get up the hill, I was doomed.

It had been hours since I left the Clearwater's. Charlie would be concerned and come looking for me soon. Would he know to even go down this road? I felt the tears forming out of frustration and sat in the snow defeated, holding my hands over my face. There was blood all over my hands and my pants were soaked with it as well.My clothes and hair were completely drenched with wet snow and I was convinced I was going to lose a few toes to frostbite. _Why, Bella? Why did you have to be so stupid?_

Somewhere in the distance, I could hear the faint sound of crunching in the snow.I froze, suddenly realizing that it was footsteps. It could be an animal, smelling the blood. _Should I try to run? Play possum? How could I not know what to do in a situation like this? Oh yeah, because the Wilderness Channel was boring._ I made a mental note to take an outdoor survival class if I ever got out of the woods alive.

I was shaking, partly from the cold and partly from fear. My heart raced in terror, praying silently that someone good and kind had stumbled upon me, not some hungry mountain lion. The crunching stopped, and still frozen, I looked toward the direction the sound came from but there was nothing but silence.

A car! I heard the sound of a car's tires crunching the snow on the road above me. I bolted up, hobbling as fast as I could, not caring whether I was being hunted by a mountain lion or not. I was determined to get up the hill to find that car. The crunching began again, faster this time, following me. I looked back and saw a figure faintly through the furiously falling snow. My heart beat out of my chest, for I knew that figure. As it slowly approached me, I drew in a deep breath and screamed. Then everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5 Clarification

**Twilight and all its glory belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 5**

My eyes opened slowly, the lids heavy with confusion and uncertainty. The brilliant orange glow and the sporadic snapping of a fire that blazed only a few feet from me was the first thing I was aware of. My head throbbed and I was definitely a bit woozy but I managed to turn my head away from the fireplace to the left, focusing on the legs of a coffee table and couch. The entire room was dark except for the amber illumination of the fire. I realized I was on the floor. Underneath me was a thick blue sleeping bag. Another was blanketed on top of me.

I felt the dull throb in my thigh and remembered falling in the woods. I remembered my fingers and toes freezing. I thrust my hands out in front of me checking that none of the digits had been lost to frostbite. Sitting slowly upright, I wiggled my toes and discovered that my clothes had been changed. My hand slid down my leg feeling the soft pink velour sweatpants. The sweater I was wearing earlier had been changed into a long sleeved white fitted t- shirt. I did not recognize the clothes or the room I was in.

Just to the left of the fire place sat a glass of water and two small pills.

It was then, in the reflection of the water glass I saw a slight movement. In the corner of the room, was the dark shadowy outline of a person sitting in a chair. Leaning forward, I had to squint my eyes to see if I could recognize a face. Mimicking my motions, the figure leaned forward as well. It took not but a second to register in my brain what caused me to scream in the forest earlier that evening.

"Edward?" The whispered sound of his name left my mouth hoarse and and raspy. My pulse quickened and a wave of nausea turned my stomach. I struggled to catch my breath, dumbfounded by the sight before me.

" Hello Bella." He spoke softly. The musical tone of his voice stunned me and comforted me simultaneously.

"Where...why....what happened?..." There were a million thoughts clouding my head as I searched my brain for the words that would flow most coherently.

Edward leaned forward so that his face was now visible in the glow of the fire. My favorite crooked smile appeared on his face revealing his perfect, gleaming white teeth. He looked exactly the same as I remembered.

"How are you feeling?"

_Um...weak, stunned, confused, completely freaked out, blinded by your smile...Am I dead?_

"My leg hurts. And my head." I responded touching a small bandage at my hairline. Nope, definitely not dead. Dreaming then.

"You have a pretty bad gash on your leg. I cleaned and bandaged it as best I could with what I had here. It should be fine, however, you will most likely have a scar. The abrasion on your head isn't nearly as bad. " He motioned toward the water and pills and said, "Take those, they will help with the pain."

I obeyed, swallowing the entire glass of water and both pills, surprised at my thirst.

After a minute, I spoke again. "Edward, how did you find me out there?"

Edward responded quietly. "I was returning from hunting and I could... _smell you_...your blood. The snow blanketing everything made all of the other scents in the forest disappear. I thought I was hallucinating, but your scent was so potent, I was compelled to follow it. I found you stumbling in the snow and I suppose when you saw me you fainted. I carried you back here and changed you out of your wet clothes. I hope that is alright. I....I did it very quickly."

I assumed he was apologizing for seeing me in next to nothing while trying to save my life.

"Thank you." I said quietly. "It's fine. Are these Alice's?" I motioned indicating the clothes I was wearing.

"Yes, and Esme's. I searched upstairs for something warm and comfortable for you. They took mostly everything with them so there wasn't a great deal to choose from. And I am sorry about putting you on the floor, but I felt you could defrost more efficiently as close to the fire as possible. I was concerned about frostbite. Your lips aren't blue anymore, so thats a good sign." He smiled softly and folded his hands in his lap.

"Would you like to tell me why you were out in the woods in a snowstorm on Christmas Eve?" He leaned to the side of the chair, his lips pressed into a tight line.

I explained what had happened, leaving out the part about trying to find his house. Instead I just told him I missed the turn to the highway and tried to turn around when my car got stuck. He shook his head and said, "Seems like your luck hasn't changed much."

I responded defiantly, "Depends on how you look at it. You showing up seems pretty lucky to me."

He nodded his head, "Lucky indeed."

It suddenly occurred to me that I needed to call Charlie.

"What time is it?", I asked. Edward handed me his small silver phone. The screen said 11:42. I dialed Charlie's number hoping he was still up. He answered on the first ring, alarmed.

I told him the same story I gave Edward, but mentioned that I had run into an old friend from school who helped me out. Charlie told me to stay put for the night, that the roads were much too bad to attempt driving. Then he apologized again about working on Christmas.

"It's fine, Dad. I won't be able to get home now anyway." I was glad he didn't ask too many questions. The last person he would want me to spend the night with was Edward Cullen.

As I handed the phone back to Edward, my mind became less hazy.

"Edward, what are _you_ doing here?" I asked with a hint of sharpness in my voice.

He thought for a moment. He was perched at the edge of his chair, leaning forward, hands clasped in his lap. His fingers flitted nervously.

" I needed to get away. I assumed you would be spending the holidays with your mother, so I thought I would take a chance in coming back here to Forks for a while. I never expected you would be here...." His voice trailed off.

"Were you in town last night and the night before?" I wondered.

"Yes, and I am sorry about that. I was in town getting some supplies and I saw you cross the street. I was shocked. I wanted more than anything to say hello, but I didn't know how you would react. I wasn't even sure you had even spotted me. I went back feeling terrible about it, but you were already gone. Then again last night, in the coffee house. I didn't want to approach you while you were with your friends. That Newman kid has a mind like a....." His voice trailed off angrily as he shook his head.

"I didn't mean to be rude." He stammered out the words, so out of character for his usual confidence. His tone was apologetic and sincere but I could tell he was holding something back.

" That's such a relief. I thought I was seeing things." I admitted apprehensively. " I could have sworn I saw you a bunch of times, and it was freaking me out. I kept thinking it was my imagination. The last two nights just made me feel like I went completely nuts."

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry", he responded.

He was sitting merely five feet away from me and he was real. This was not a dream, not a fantasy. My body ached to hold him in my arms, to press my lips against his. I wanted to climb into his lap and run my fingers through his silky bronze hair. But I suppressed the urge to run to him because I knew he would reject my affections. Instead I continued to ask questions, especially curious about something he had said earlier.

" So where did you need to get away from?" I was dying to know where he had been the last two years.

"From my family. They are so jovial and cheerful this time of year, even Rosalie. Our friends from Denali were visiting for the holidays and they all began singing these dreadful Christmas songs...Silver _Bells_, Jingle _Bells_, Sleigh _Bells _Ring...blah, blah, blah. I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to leave. Alright well, they all sort of kicked me out." He scowled.

"They accused me of dampening their spirits. Esme was at her wits end. Alice practically pushed me out the door. I don't even blame them really. I just wasn't feeling very celebratory at the time." He stared into the blazing fire.

This was very comical to me. I pictured the Cullens covered in silver tinsel, wearing Santa Hats, throwing Christmas balls at him. I chuckled at the visual.

"I know how you feel. Christmas isn't exactly my favorite time of year either." I looked down at my hands not wanting to admit that his extended absence from my life was the reason I was so blue.

"Hmmm. Why is that? " His brows pinched together and he shifted his weight in the chair..

I hesitated while I tried figure out how to explain without revealing too much of my perpetually depressive state.

"I have had a rough couple of years, Edward. Sometimes I don't feel like I have all that much worth celebrating, and Christmas kind of seems pointless when you have no one special to celebrate with."

I cringed knowing I had admitted too much.

He had a puzzled expression on his face while he fumbled for the right words. " I thought you...aren't you... what about your boyfriends?"

" Boyfriends?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I um, assumed that you were involved in.... relationships. Alice said..."

Edward shook his head and looked down. "She saw you with Jacob Black. " Edward practically hissed Jake's name. "The two of you were walking on the beach together, with a child. " His voice reflected sadness as if it pained him to say the words.

A child? I thought for a moment and it occurred to me what Alice's vision was about.

"Edward, that was last summer. Jake's sister was visiting and we were babysitting his nephew. Jake and I are not, and never were together. Not in that way." I clarified.

Edwards expression slowly grew from bewildered to curious. "What about that blonde boy?"

I thought for a brief moment. "Who, Ryan? No, he's not my boy....Edward, how did you know about him? Were you at school? Did you see me with him?" I was suddenly very angry. Edward was spying on me?

Edward ignored my questions and looked off into the fire again. He spoke with quiet intensity. "My reasons for leaving were unselfish. I left because I wanted you to be safe, and I refused to take away what nature intended for you. I _wanted y_ou to fall in love, to find someone thatyou could get married to and have children with and live a normal life with. That was something I simply could not give you. But when I thought you did just that, it tormented me. The thought of someone else's arms around you...I suppose I misunderstood. Damn Alice and her inaccurate visions!"

"Yes, Bella. I made a habit of checking up on you. I am sorry if that makes you angry, but I had to know if you were alright. The guilt was eating me alive and I thought that if I knew you were doing well, it would validate my reasons for leaving." Edward stared at me apologetically with his smoldering golden eyes.

"So you were at my school? When?" I demanded. He was at my school watching me. All this time I had been agonizing over him, and he was right there. At least I knew I wasn't nuts.

"A few times actually. I thought once you had spotted me, but I couldn't be sure. I suppose I didn't do a very adequate job of being inconspicuous since you thought you saw me. That night in the dorm...he had his hands all over you. It took all I had to hold back from pouncing on him and tearing his head off..." His voice had grown angry, he practically spat out the words.

"Damn it Edward!" I yelled. The fury enveloped my body when I understood what he was telling me. The anger was blinding. I spewed out words and barely knew what I was saying.

"How dare you? You made me think I was going crazy! I thought I needed serious mental help. Every time I thought I was beginning to get over you I would see you and it would send me right back to the beginning. When you left me, my spirit died. I was like a zombie for months. And I have been suffering ..literally suffering for over two years! And why? Because you had to make _yourself_ feel better for leaving me? "

I was shaking as I said the words to him, so frightened by my own anger, and so conflicted because all I really wanted was for Edward to hold me in his arms.

"You take Alice with you without even allowing her to say goodbye to me? You don't call, or write, you just_ disappear. _ You hid all my stuff!And then, you have the audacity to be angry that I may have moved on, because you can't stand it if someone else loves me, when you don't even love me yourself? You can't have it both ways, Edward!"

I leaned forward onto my palms and awkwardly stood up wincing from the sharp pain radiating from my thigh. It felt as if my legs would collapse under the weight of my body. I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew I had to get out of that house before I began to completely lose it. I hobbled toward the door but Edward flashed over to me in less than half a second blocking me from opening it.

"Where do you think you are going?" he demanded. His voice was soft, but forceful. "You can't go out there, Bella, you'll freeze to death." He placed both hands gently on my shoulders. His icy cold palms burned through me.

"I don't care!" I screamed through gritted teeth. "Let me go, Edward." My fists flailed at his chest, trying to fight him off even though I knew I was no match for his strength.

"Bella, Bella stop! You are going to break your hands! " He pleaded still holding my arms. "Just listen to me please."

"NO!" It's bad enough that you didn't love me anymore, but you sabotaged any chance of a relationship with anyone else. I held on for so long, Edward. I tried to move on. I tried to get over you, but you were there, always there. I just want to get out of here!" I screamed at him breathlessly.

I tried to break free from his hold but it was pointless. He spun me around and pulled my back into his chest. Edward's arms were wrapped around my upper half pinning my arms across my chest, in an attempt to stop me from hitting him. With his arms around me the instinct to fight eventually subsided and tears took over. My chest heaved with sobs as salty tears poured down my cheeks. My body collapsed to the floor, with Edward's arms still holding me. I suppose the shock of the events of the evening was just too much.

"Bella," he whispered. "Please don't cry."

He scooped me up effortlessly and placed me back onto the blankets by the fireplace. Pulling me into his lap, he cradled my still sobbing body like a child. I could feel his lips brush against my hair as he inhaled deeply. He lifted my chin with his index finger and wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumb.

"I am so, so sorry, Bella." he whispered into my forehead. "I had no idea you were going through this. I thought you were happy. Even Alice made it seem as if you were happy." His voice was pained. The tears streamed down my face and my chest continued to heave gently with sobs. I couldn't speak.

"There's something you need to know." Edward's fingers were rubbing small soothing circles gently down my back. He drew in a deep breath and continued.

"That day in the woods when I told you I didn't love you...that I didn't want you...I lied to you."

My body froze. I looked up at him my eyes wide with disbelief at what I had just heard.

"What did you just say?"

"I lied to you, Bella. It was the only way. I thought if I told you I didn't love you anymore, it would make it easier for you to get over me, to move on. I never meant for it to hurt you so badly."

"Edward, how could you think it wouldn't hurt me?", I asked angrily through tears.

"Bella, I may have decades on you, but I am clearly inexperienced when it comes to relationships. This is completely foreign to me. I suppose part of my mind still functions like a 17 year old boy, while other parts are much more mature. At the time, I thought it was the best thing for you. I was truly looking out for your best interest. I did come back though, after a few months because I couldn't bear to be away from you any longer. I climbed through your window one night and to my surprise, you called out 'Jacob' in your sleep. I knew then I had been replaced. When I returned home, Alice told me of her vision of you and Jacob at the beach and she mistook it for your future. It was what I had wanted for you, but at the same time the pain of you moving on was physically disabling."

"At that point, I left my family, because I couldn't bear to be around the constant reminder of how much they loved each other. I went to South America for a while, but ..." His voice trailed off.

"Eventually Esme convinced me to return. I knew by this time you had gone off to college, and...I wanted to see you, regardless if you were happy. It was terribly selfish, but I was out of my mind with grief, and the way I left you...." Edward stroked my cheek and placed soft kisses on my forehead as he spoke. I stared up at him, stunned by the words he spoke.

"I found out where you were going to school, and I waited for you. That's when I saw that boy with his arm around you. It was so terribly confusing. I assumed you had broken up with Jacob and moved on. I wanted desperately to see you, but I had no idea how to approach you. I was fearful of your reaction when you saw me. I was so terribly afraid of rejection...of finding out you loved someone else." His voice trailed off as he recalled the unpleasant memories.

"Then that night when you and... Ryan, is it? When you were together... I never felt such blinding rage and jealousy before. I ran over a hundred miles that night, fearing that I would kill him if I was any closer. And I know it was wrong, Bella, but I couldn't stand the thought of him touching you like that, like I should have when I had the chance." I stared at him in disbelief.

"Edward, what the hell are you saying?" His words were so jumbled in my head, I could barely focus.

"Bella, I have always loved you more than anything. Leaving you was the biggest mistake I have ever made, and I am especially regretful now, because it was all for nothing. It didn't make things better for you, or for me for that matter. I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought......"

I interrupted him at this point to get clarification. "Edward...you have always loved me?" I asked.

"Yes, Bella. But, of course I certainly don't expect that _your_ feelings have remained the same." He looked down, but continued to stroke my hair.

"Are you saying that you...still love me now?" My eyes were wide with anticipation and the hopeful grin on my face stretched ear to ear.

"More than you can even imagine." Edward smiled that beautiful, perfect crooked smile, lifted my chin with his finger and leaned down to kiss me.

**PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW IF IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!!!!**

**The next few chapters are where the M rating comes in.**


	6. Chapter 6 Promises

********OK Guys, Since you have been so awesome about reviewing, I'm giving you this chapter early AND with a little sexy stuff. Enjoy**.*****

_**The Twilight Universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Edward Cullen belongs to me only in my fantasies.**_

**Chapter 6**

I thought I was going to pass out again. His lips pressed gently to mine, sending icy cold tremors through my body. I grabbed the back of his head with force and crushed his lips to mine. My hands pressed down on this thighs lifting me to my knees. Pulling away from his face, I inhaled quickly and went back for more.

We grabbed at one another like wild animals, tearing at each other's hair and clothes. Buttons flew every which way as I tore open his shirt, while he lifted my shirt over over my head and threw it across the room. His hands fumbled at my back trying to open the clasp of my bra. Once the bra fell to the blankets below us, I pressed my bare breasts into his freezing chest running my hands over the marble skin on his back and tearing into the flesh with my nails. I couldn't tell which was louder, our hungry pants or the sound of my heart about to beat out of my chest.

Edward had his hands knotted in my hair and dove down into my shoulder kissing and licking my collarbone and the length of my neck. His frigid hands slid up my back and then down to my waist, sliding just beneath the waist of the sweat pants that sat low on my hips. As I placed quick bites up the length of his neck and then sucked his earlobe, he moaned softly.

Edward looked down, his eyes wide as he gazed at my naked upper body and a growl escaped his throat. Suddenly startled at the frightening and unfamiliar sound, my body froze in place and then he was gone. I realized what had happened when I saw him crouching in the far corner of the room. He had been too overcome by the rabid emotions, by the lust.

I whispered, "I'm sorry," but I knew he could hear me.

"Just give me a moment please, Bella." His chest was heaving up and down as his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose.

When it occurred to me that I was topless and freezing, I slipped under the covers, lay my head on the pillow and turned toward the fire. This was not how I had imagined our reuniting. I always pictured it in my head as Edward and I running in slow motion toward each other along a beach. But of course in my vision, Edward was glittering so brightly in the sun that it would blind me and cause me to fall face first in the sand, ruining the moment.

A few minutes passed and Edward returned to my side, lying down next to me, his icy alabaster chest pressed against my back. He whispered into my neck, "I am so sorry. I ….I think I was about to lose control. That was bad. We can never, never be wild like that together again, Bella." His fingertips caressed my arm, as he placed gentle kisses on my shoulder.

"I am sorry. I have waited so long to be with you again Edward, I guess I don't know what came over me." I was apologetic for becoming so fraught with lust.

" There is no need to apologize, love. If we are going to be intimate there have to be some limitations. We need to take things very slowly, take our time. And never again like that. As much as I enjoyed it, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you."

He brushed his fingertips slowly down my arm to my wrist and back up again. His bare chest was cold against my back, but felt unbelievably refreshing against my now damp skin. He breathed his cool breath on my neck and he ran his hands from my waist up the center of my chest resting on my heart.

"Does this excite you?" He asked feeling my heart race underneath his hand.

I shook my head and smiled sheepishly, turning my head slightly to look at him. His hand moved slowly from my heart, and brushed gently over my breast grazing the erect nipple with his thumb. His feather light touch sent ripples of pleasure through my body. He grazed his thumb over the nipple again and then cupped my breast gently in his hand.

"You are so lovely", he whispered. I turned to lay flat on my back, so I could kiss him. I traced his lips with my tongue, touching his cheek with my trembling fingertips. Edward placed soft kisses along my jaw and trailed them down to my breasts. His lips brushed over each nipple giving me goose bumps from head to toe. His tongue darted out and he made small circles around the pink circles on each of my breasts.

He kissed back up to my collarbone liking an icy trail to my lips and whispered, "I am sorry, Bella. This is all I can give you right now."

I laughed softly and responded breathlessly, "Edward, it's about all I can handle anyway. Um, could you do me a favor?" I asked.

"Anything, love. " Edward lay his head down on the pillow beside me pulling the blanket up to my neck, our mouths inches apart.

"Could you pinch me every few minutes or so?"

A smile brightened his face. "You are not dreaming, Bella. We are here, together, and I am never leaving you again. Unless of course, you want me to." His butterscotch eyes stared deeply into mine.

"Never, Edward. I will never, ever let you leave me." I promised.

He was quiet for a moment. "Bella, there is something that happens with my kind when they find their mate. It is similar to what humans refer to as soul mates but for vampires, it is the true sense of the word. When we find the person we are linked to be with, they make sort of a mark on us. It is permanent, nothing can weaken it or change it. It is literally like our blood is uniquely matched for one another. I am not sure how it works, but it is the strongest bond we cake make; think magnetic force, if you will. It is even stronger than our thirst for human blood. Even if you no longer wanted to be with me, I could never let go of you. I would physically leave if you wished, but I would spend the rest of my existence with half of me gone." Edward's fingertips brushed gently across my cheekbone as he explained.

"So are you saying that I am your match? Did you know this when you left?" I asked, amazed at what he was telling me.

"At the time, no. I truly didn't think you were. You were _human_; how could you be matched for me? Carlisle has a theory as to why this happened to me though. He thinks that you aren't supposed to be...human. Apparently, I messed with fate a bit. If I had tried to kill you when I first saw you, I would have known then you were my match, and I would have changed you instead of killing you. But since I do not behave in the manner traditional vampires should, it is as if I altered fate by not trying to kill you. You are my match, but still in human form. Carlisle and Esme think that if my ties to you are this strong while you are human, they will be unfathomable when...I mean, _if_ you were like us."

"You said _when_... are you planning something for me?" I was unexpectedly excited by the prospect of being like Edward.

I

Edward frowned. " No, absolutely not. My stand on that has not changed. But Alice saw you, so I assume it is going to happen eventually. That is another reason why I needed to watch over you. You know I have no plans to make you into a monster and no one in my family would even dare, however, I cannot account for the others out there."

"So, you are going out of your way to keep me from becoming a vampire? That makes no sense. We could be together, Edward. Why wouldn't you just let it happen?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Edward said that I was supposed to be a vampire. That I should have been changed the day we met in biology. That he was linked to me in either form, human or vampire. That Alice said I will eventually be a vampire, and that he was doing everything in his power to keep that from happening.

It was all too much. The exhaustion of the events of the day was overwhelming and Edward noticed.

"Bella, you need to get some sleep now. We have all the time in the world to talk." He leaned into me and kissed my forehead.

"You will be here when I wake up?" I asked cringing at the desperation in my voice.

"Yes, of course", he promised.

I snuggled into his icy chest and closed my eyes.

"Oh, just so you know, that night in Ryan's dorm room....nothing happened. When I thought I saw you there I completely freaked out on him. He thought I was a complete psycho and we were done right there and then. Tonight was the first time I have even been...this close to....I guess you could call it good timing on your part..." I could see by his immediate reaction that he was clearly elated by this.

"You don't know how happy that makes me." He took a deep breath and smiled with relief. "I love you so very much, Bella."

" I love you too, you creepy stalker."

"Shhh. Go to sleep, Psychopath."


	7. Chapter 7 Uninhibited

**Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

_Edward and Bella are a little out of character for this chapter._

**Chapter 7**

The delicious smell of bacon enveloped my senses. The sound of it crackling and sizzling as it cooked on the stove was so comforting. The room no longer had the soft orange glow of the fire, but was blindingly bright from the snow reflecting in the windows from outside. It had finally stopped snowing.

Somewhere in the distance Edward was cheerfully singing a Christmas carol. I swore I heard him singing _"_Silver _Bella, _Silver _Bella,_ it's Christmas time in the city_."_

As I sat up stretching I noticed my shirt folded neatly on the pillow beside me. I quickly slipped it on and struggled to stand up, but Edward was there with his hand extended.

"Good morning." He smiled at me.

"Are you cooking? " I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, " he chuckled. " Bacon and eggs alright?"

"Wonderful. Since when do you cook?" I raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

" Well, I had a lot of time on my hands while we were apart. I wanted to feel connected to you so I learned to do some human things." He scooped me up and carefully carried me toward the kitchen. I motioned to the bathroom and he turned directions to let me down at the doorway.

"I had some errands to run last night, so I picked up a few things for you." On the bathroom counter was a clear travel bag filled with basic human necessities including a toothbrush. I gratefully brushed my teeth and then combed the knots out of my hair. I twisted it up into a messy bun on top of my head and hobbled toward breakfast. On the long granite topped island, was a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and a buttered English muffin. Edward sat down on the stool next to me and watched me wolf down the food. Impressive for someone that couldn't taste what he was making. It was the best meal I had ever eaten.

"Good?" he laughed, his eyes bulging from the sight of me scarfing down the food. I shook my head and gulped down half a glass of orange juice.

"Christmas Eve Dinner was awful last night, so I didn't eat much. What's for lunch?" I wasn't even kidding. "I see you were busy last night", I said noticing all the groceries set neatly on the counter.

He chuckled. "Thankfully, I was able to get everything done before you woke. Do you know how hard it is to find a grocery store open at midnight on Christmas Eve?" he asked. "Oh, and we need to discuss your _little sports car_ ", he said sarcastically pointing to the garage outside.

"You called a tow truck?" I asked before realizing how silly that was when I knew Edward would be able to drag my car out of the snowbank with one hand.

"Yeah, I called Cullen's Tow Service. Don't change the subject." he frowned.

" I know, I know. I'm trading it in ASAP. I shouldn't have bought it to begin with, but I liked the color."

He smiled, understanding the color reference and asked, "Are you serious?"

" Yeah. I missed you." I shrugged my shoulders and he leaned in to kiss my forehead laughing.

" I sold my Volvo cause I couldn't get your scent out of it. It drove me absolutely mad. The second the car was gone, I regretted it."

" Awww, poor shiny Volvo." I said sadly. " I loved that car." Edward smiled and nodded in agreement.

"So, what else did you do last night?" I wondered.

He motioned toward the family room, where a huge green spruce tree decorated in twinkling white lights sat proudly in the corner. Underneath the tree were a half dozen or so small gifts wrapped in festive paper.

"We couldn't celebrate our first Christmas together without a proper tree. There wasn't anything open that late last night other than the Mini Mart in town, so the choices for gifts were...limited, " he said smiling.

"Edward, you are amazing. I wish you didn't get me gifts, you know how I feel about that. I have nothing for you though." I leaned over to kiss him and he took my face in his hands.

"Bella, you gave me the greatest gift of all. You forgave me, and accepted me back into your life. I am determined to make up for all the pain I have caused you, and for all the senseless time wasted. I want to make every moment count." He touched my cheek sweetly.

"It isn't necessary to make anything up to me, Edward. You didn't really do anything wrong. Let's just start fresh, please?"_ I am not about to allow you to spend forever trying to make up for our breakup, unless you wanted to make up for it in sexual favors, of course. _I thought it, but I didn't say it out loud.

"We'll see. What would you like to do today?" He asked changing the subject.

"Well, since there's a blizzard outside, I assume our choices are limited to indoor activities. I would really like to take a shower before we do anything."

Edward slid off his chair and placed his hands under my arms, lifting me off my chair. I stood up wobbling on one leg.

"Hmm, you aren't going to be able to stand for long in the shower. How does a bath sound instead? " he suggested. "Esme and Carlisle have a whirlpool tub in their bathroom." I nodded eagerly and he carried me upstairs to the master bedroom.

On our way up the stairs, I noticed that most of the artwork and Car lisle's antique cross were gone off the walls. Missing also was Emmet and Rosalie's wedding photo and most of the other family photos. I was saddened at the thought of the Cullen's having to leave quickly, taking only the most important things with them. I wondered what Edward had taken with him and what he had left behind.

Carlisle and Esme's room was tremendous. The walls were covered in a pale green color while the enormous canopy bed was adorned in white silk linens. There were sheets draped over the furniture to prevent dust.

He carried me into the bathroom, almost equal in size to the bedroom, and placed me down on the edge of the enormous tub. He ran the water, swirling it around and then letting it drain to clear out any debris that may have settled while it sat unused. While the water filled the tub, he poured in bubble bath and then left to get towels.

"I want to check your bandages", he said as he sat beside me. He held my hand as I stood up and loosened the drawstring on my pants, letting them fall to the floor. Edward had not seen me in my underwear except for last night when he changed me out of my wet clothes and a few times when he sneaked into my bedroom years ago. What should have been an awkward moment, was not.

The bandage that was taped to my thigh had been saturated with dried blood. Edward carefully peeled it off and examined the wound.

"Looks good.", he said, proud of his work. "Can you get it from here?" He asked. I shook my head yes and he responded, "I'll be downstairs. Call me if you need me." He kissed me on the forehead and left.

I finished undressing and lowered myself into the tub. The warm water felt amazing, although it burned my leg a bit. I washed my body using the delicate body wash on the edge of the tub, then sank beneath the water to soak my hair before washing it. The soft terrycloth of the washcloth skimming over my breasts immediately brought my thoughts to the delicious event that occurred last night. I suddenly felt tingles running through my body as the memories flashed before me. I ran my hands up my thighs, avoiding my injury recalling Edward's soft touch on my body.

I debated whether to ask Edward to join me in the tub. I knew he was much too old fashioned and modest to oblige, but I called him anyway using the rinsing excuse as a lure.

"Edward...can you help me? I need something to rinse my hair." I called as loudly forgetting that he had the ability to hear me a mile away. He was there in an instant, though not sure if he should enter the bathroom. There were plenty bubbles covering my whole body but at that point, I wasn't feeling shy at all.

"Come in", I urged when I heard him knock gently and hesitate at the door.

He sat down on the side of the tub again with a large glass pitcher in hand. He leaned over and ran the water again filling up the pitcher.

"Lean your head back, " he ordered, and he poured the water over my already damp hair. I could smell the familiar scent of the strawberry shampoo immediately when he squirted it into his hand He massaged my scalp lathering up the suds high into my hair. It felt divine. Then he ran the water again and poured the fresh water over my head rinsing away all the shampoo.

"You know," I said in my best seductive voice, "running all those errands last night must have broken a mighty sweat...do you want to join me?" I patted the side of the tub, feeling uncharacteristically forward. It felt so silly trying to be seductive. How anyone could take themselves seriously when trying to flirt was beyond my comprehension.

He rolled his eyes and responded, "You know technically, my being 17 and your being 20 could be considered illegal in some states. What would Chief Swan think?"

"Ewww. Don't mention my father when I am naked ever again!" I scowled at him. "Besides your what...a hundred and seven now? So technically, _I'm_ the one in the tub with my grandpa. Oh, come on...I will completely forgive you for the creepy stalking thing if you get in with me", I said lightheartedly, hoping I didn't offend him.

"Hmmm. One bath for total absolution...doesn't seem like a fair trade. But alright then.", he said to my surprise, but I could sense that he was feeling uncomfortable about me seeing him undress. It was so endearing how old fashioned he could be.

"Grandpa", he muttered under his breath.

My heart raced with the anticipation of what was to come. In my fantasies, I had imagined Edward naked a million times, his muscles rippling under his cool alabaster skin., his manhood set forth in all its glory. But this was the first time I would see and feel him in the flesh_._

I was completely and absolutely petrified.

**Thanks so much for all your positive (and funny) reviews. I have the next 3 chapters already finished, and I will try to post one a day until I can write more. Chapter 9 is my absolute favorite. I can't wait to hear what you think of it!!!! xoxoxo**


	8. Chapter 8 Intimate

Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

**Mature content**

**Chapter 8**

Edward began to undress, first taking off his navy sweater revealing his perfectly chiseled marble chest. Then he unbuttoned his jeans letting them fall silently to the floor. He peeled off both socks and tossed them aside. He was standing there in front of me wearing soft gray boxer briefs, looking like he stepped out of a Calvin Klien ad. The expression on his face read either sheer terror or nervous trepidation. Turning my head away from him, I heard the elastic waistband of his underpants snap and then the water rippled gently as he slid into the tub.

He sat across from me leaning his head back against the oval tub. The crooked smile I love so much and missed so dearly spread across his face and then he pursed his lips. "You are going to corrupt me in no time."

"What? Me? No..." I laughed nervously and leaned forward to kiss him. He reached out under water grasping my waist and pulled me closer to him. His mouth touched mine, his lips gently parting. I leaned in to kiss his cheek and then trailed the kisses to his earlobe. Since I had the ability to safely use my teeth and he couldn't, I sucked and bit on his earlobe and then down his neck. I smiled as he let out a tiny moan. My hands placed gently on his shoulders slid slowly down the sides of his arms, moving around the curves of his muscles. I drew them up his chest and down the waves of his abdomen. This was my first real intimate experience with a man, and I had no idea what to do, so I went on instinct and what I had seen in dirty movies. Edward stared into my eyes, not so much as blinking.

"That feels amazing", he whispered. I drew my hands back up his chest and held his face in my palms.

"What are you thinking about?", he asked.

" Truthfully? I'm not really sure what to do. This...intimacy...is very new to me.." I admitted shyly.

"You are doing wonderfully. This is new to me too. Just do what you feel." Edwards' words were confident, although I could hear his voice shaking.

I trailed my fingertips down his chest again, this time resting them on his thighs. Slowly, my hands felt under the water for him. My fingers stroked the soft skin of his erection, and gently cupped my hands around the shaft. Edward inhaled deeply and growled softly as he exhaled, but this time he was in complete control.

"Does that feel good?", I whispered into his neck, kissing his marble skin. I asked it not to be erotic, but to find out if what I was doing to him was pleasurable. I continued to draw my hand up and down the length of his hardness, watching him close his eyes and lean his head back.

"Good...doesn't even begin... to describe it." He panted the words. He gasped in pleasure when my free hand gently massaged his nipple. I could tell without question he was enjoying this and it pleased me to make him happy. "Bella, don't stop," he pleaded. I sucked on his earlobe and kissed his neck while stroking him until his eyes rolled back and his body stiffened, convulsing sightly with his orgasm. When he finally relaxed, he opened his eyes and grabbed my face in his hands kissing me forcefully. I laughed at his display of gratitude.

His skin had warmed a bit in the tepid water and for the first time I could lean against him without feeling like he was an ice sculpture. It truly was wonderful. I turned away from him and nestled my back into his chest. His arms wrapped around me and he buried his face into my collarbone planting kisses along the length of it. As content and relaxed as I was, my heart practically raced right out of my chest.

" Wow. I get it now." He said softly.

" What exactly do you get ?" I asked, twining my fingers in his.

"Emmett and Jasper are always going on about how amazing sexual intimacy is. But what I imagined wasn't even close to this."

"You talk to them about sex?" I pictured the three of them huddled around a Playboy magazine smacking their hands together in high fives.

"Not willingly. I am very shy about the subject. They seem to think it is hilarious and quite unnatural that I am a 107 year old virgin. They feel they need to 'school' me on the basics. So every time we hunt without the girls, the sex talks begin. It's been quite an education.", he laughed.

"I'll bet. So what did they teach you?" I was definitely curious as to where this was going to lead.

"Well, " he said, "first and foremost, women are gentle creatures. They should be treated as such." He ran his fingertips ever so lightly down the center of my chest to my navel and back up again gently cupping my breasts in each hand. His thumbs circled around the erect nipples and then over them repeatedly. I sighed in response. I could feel his hardness grow behind me, and the thought of his erection excited me to no end.

"However, " he continued, "they are surprisingly animalistic and like a bit of force when it comes to intimacy." He gently squeezed my nipples between his thumb and forefingers forcing me to gasp in pleasure. He cupped both breasts in his hands and squeezed firmly, rubbing the nipples with his thumbs. It was heaven.

I discovered that I preferred when he was more forceful.

"There is a certain area, on a woman", he whispered, stroking underneath my breasts. "When you find the _spot _and touch it just the right way_..._ it is supposed to be the most intense pleasure you will ever know." I had heard of this spot before and I wanted Edward to find it immediately.

The tips of his fingers brushed lightly against my rib cage as they trailed down to my hipbones resting on my inner thighs. He made small circles with his fingertips on the inner flesh of my thighs, sweeping inward toward the center avoiding the wound on top. My insides fluttered as he kissed my neck and searched with his fingers for my opening. Gently, he swept his fingers up and down the slit of my center and parted the lips. His thumb circled upward, finding the bundle of nerves in the middle and rubbed it vigorously with his thumb.

"Oh my...Edward!" I practically screamed his name as he continued to pleasure me, finding no other words to express the emotions I was feeling. His fingers slid inside of me and curled forward finding the spot he spoke of. I panted with his thrusts, lifting my hips so he could enter deeper, moaning with each movement, my body writhing in pleasure. He was incredibly gentle, and I knew he was holding back fearing he would hurt me.

His other hand continued to massage my breast and he pinched the nipple once more between his thumb and forefinger. I felt my insides shudder as I reached the hight of my pleasure, grabbing at his thighs and throwing my head back. His fingers continued to dart in and out of me quickly and I closed my eyes wanting the pleasure to stop because I couldn't take any more, yet at the same time, wanting more and more. I dug my fingers into his rock hard legs and screamed his name while my hips convulsed gently in the water. When the waves of pleasure subsided, I sat still for a moment, trying to regain my breath and my composure. For a minute, it felt as if I had lost consciousness. When I opened my eyes, I turned to look at him, and he had a look of concern in his gaze.

My first thought was if Edward made me feel this good the very first time he's ever done anything like this before, imagine what it will be like when he has experience under his belt.

"Bella, your leg. Your bleeding again", he said clearing the water of the remaining bubbles so he could locate the source of the blood _and completely ruining the moment_. I bent my legs pulling my knees up to my chest so he could examine it. The wound had already begun to heal, and was not bleeding at all. Edward panicked.

"I've hurt you... damn it! I am so sorry Bella. Are you in much pain?" he said frantically.

" I am fine, Edward." I said, realizing that I was not in any pain at all and why I was bleeding.

"No, you are bleeding, I was too rough with you." His expression was pained.

"Edward, stop. You have two medical degrees. Think...about what happens to a woman the first time she has intercourse." He thought for a brief moment.

"Oh, Ok. You're sure it doesn't hurt?" , his eyebrows raised.

"Yes, I am fine. Actually, I am fantastic! Remind me to kiss Emmet and Jasper when I see them."

Edward laughed out loud and said, "They would be proud of my efforts?" I turned to kiss him and whispered, "Very. That was beyond anything I could ever have expected. I feel like a _woman_ now! "

It was corny, but it was exactly how I felt. Having Edward touch me like that was beyond words. I knew I would never be the same after this and I was so excited with what was to come. If this was so immensely pleasurable than actual intercourse would be a life changing experience.

We rose from the tub together and Edward quickly wrapped a towel around me and then around his own waist. Giving me his hand, he helped me out of the tub and guided me into the bedroom where a fresh change of clothes lay folded on the bed. He re-bandaged my leg, kissed me softly on the lips and left to fetch clothes for himself. As he walked away, I grabbed the towel wrapped around his waist, and pulled it toward me, leaving him completely naked. He laughed, shook his rear at me and continued out the bedroom door.

"Who's your grandpa now?" I heard him yell from down the hall.

I had never seen anything so delicious as the sight of Edward Cullen walking away naked.

**If you don't mind, let me know how I did with the soft core porn. **


	9. Chapter 9 Gifts

**Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Little Debbie Snack Cakes belong to my Bella.**

_**My favorite chapter**_

**Chapter 9**

Edward returned to the bedroom wearing gray sweat pants and white long sleeved t- shirt. It occurred to me that I had never seen him dressed so casually before. I took it as a sign that he was feeling more comfortable around me and he was letting his guard down, not having to feel so formal.

He helped me down the stairs and suggested that I open my gifts.

"Why don't you get started and I'll be right in", he urged, walking into the kitchen.

It was pointless to argue or protest about the gifts, so I gave in. I sat cross legged on the wood floor in front of the tree and pulled the first gift into my lap. It was long, flat and rectangular. I took great care opening the paper...it's no secret how that went last time.

It was a box of Little Debbie Snack Cakes. Zebra Cakes, actually.

"Wow, thanks...just what I wanted." I mumbled rolling my eyes.

The next box was a chunky square. I tore open the paper to reveal a box of Kleenex tissues. They were the kind with lotion.

"OooKaaaay."

I picked up the smallest of the packages, and ran my fingers over the bumps.

ChapStick- a three pack in assorted berry flavors.

" Ooooh, I needed ChapStick.", I said stifling a laugh.

At this point, I knew he was watching me from across the room. I had no idea if these were gag gifts, or if I had just discovered Edward's one and only flaw- terrible gift giving. After all, he had only given me one gift in all the time I had known him, and that was a CD he had made. The last thing I wanted to do was insult him, so I tried to act enthusiastic while fighting the urge to pee my pants.

Lifting the next package into my lap, I could feel that it was soft and squishy. In it was a pair of fluffy brown socks adorned with felt antlers at the ankles and little shiny red circles sewn onto each big toe. Having no words for them, I snapped off the tags and slipped them on. I put my legs out in front of me wiggling my toes to admire the reindeer on my feet.

I picked up another soft package and opened it to reveal a tan fisherman's hat with the words

"Bite Me" embroidered on the front. I put in on over my damp hair. _What the hell?_

The last was small and flat. I wrinkled my nose when I smelled the powerful cinnamon scent. It was a red heart shaped air freshener that was supposed to hang in a car. "Hot Stuff" was printed in script on one side.

Edward sat down in front of me crossing his legs like mine so our knees were touching. His face was completely serious.

"Edward, I don't know what to say." I said, taking the hat off my head and putting it on his. I was smiling trying terribly hard not to burst into laughter.

He rolled his eyes and scowled. He placed the box of snack cakes in my lap.

"These are because your blood smells so sweet."

"My blood smells like cupcakes?" He ignored me and stacked the tissues on top of the snack cakes.

"These are because while I was away from you all I wanted to do was cry." I tilted my head sideways and smiled, touched. He put the package of ChapStick on top of the tissues.

"These are because I want to do nothing but kiss you." He leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips.

He squeezed my feet gently. "These are because you are always so warm."

He placed the air freshener on the boxes and said, "And this is because you will always have my heart."

"Awww...and the hat?", I asked curious.

"Oh, I just liked the irony of it. You know, 'Bite Me'...cause... I'm a vampire. Hey, you do your Christmas shopping at a Hess station, and see what gems you can come up with!" He laughed.

"What, no beef jerky? ", I asked.

"There's some in your stocking.", he replied dryly, pulling out another package from behind his back.

"Here's your real gift."

He lifted the stack of silly gifts off my lap and handed me the shiny wrapped package. I opened the paper carefully and gasped. It was a perfect copy of _Wuthering Heights,_ the faded black fabric cover clearly old but not tattered or worn. Tucked into the center of the book was a gorgeous silver bookmark with a long strand of crystal beads and a ruby red heart dangling from the end of it. I opened it to the first page, discovering it was a first edition.

"Oh, Edward. How did you get this? It must have cost a fortune! You definitely didn't get this at the Mini Mart!" I said astounded while I ran my fingers over the spine.

"Sure, it was at the counter between The Enquirer and the scratch off lottery tickets." He said sarcastically. "I got it about a year ago at a charity auction. All the proceeds went to the children's wing of Carlisle's hospital. I didn't even know if I would ever have the opportunity to give it to you. The bookmark supposedly belonged to Emily Bronte herself."

"Wow, a year ago? You _did _miss me! This is unbelievable, Edward. I love it. Thank you so much...for everything." I leaned over to kiss him with tears in my eyes. I was truly touched at how much thought he put into the gifts, feeling a twinge of guilt for wanting to laugh earlier. The book meant so much to me. Partly because he knew me so well, and partly because he was thinking of me when I never expected him to be.

"I am so glad you like it." He smiled and wiped the tears with one of the tissues. "So, do you feel like watching a movie? They finally turned the Cable on this morning." He stood up, holding his hand out to me.

We walked over to the large white L shaped couch and flopped into it. It was the kind of couch that you sunk into when you sat down and made you feel stupid when you struggled to get up from it. I lay my head in his lap and he drew the blanket over me. Edward flipped through the channels searching for a movie we could both agree on.

He paused when he got to a Harry Potter movie, _The Goblet of Fire_, I think.

"There's something about that guy that irks me. I just can't put my finger on it." He said.

"Who, Harry Potter?" I asked looking up at him.

"No, the actor that plays that Cedric Diggory character." He seemed kind of annoyed.

I shrugged my shoulders and responded, "He kind of reminds me of you."

"Oh yeah, he only wishes he were as dazzling as me." Edward said laughing, as he changed the channel. He finally settled on _It's a Wonderful Life _which was just starting.

About halfway through the movie, I felt myself nodding off, and struggled to stay awake. I made a mental note to get checked by a doctor for Narcolepsy.

The little silver phone on the coffee table vibrated furiously and he reached to answer it. I could hear the voice on the other end almost as clearly as if I were on the phone myself. It was Esme.

"Edward? Merry Christmas Sweetheart!" She bellowed.

"Hi Mom, Merry Christmas." Edward replied cheerfully.

"You're feeling better! We all miss you. Won't you come home?" Her voice was soft and sweet, and I could see how Edward could easily be convinced to do just about anything under her spell.

"I am in much better spirits now, thank you. But no, I won't be coming home any time soon. Sorry." He held his ground.

"Edward...Alice says you may have some good news for us."

Edward laughed and said, "Good news? Tell Alice her visions are causing major turmoil for me. Yes, Bella is lying right here next to me."

On the other end of the phone I heard Esme yell out "She's there! She's there! Hold on Edward, Alice wants to speak with you...."

"Edward, let me talk to her!" Alice demanded taking the phone from Esme.

"No, she's sleeping right now. I have a bone to pick with you, Mary Alice." Edward chided.

"Fine, you can yell at me all you want later. You have to bring Bella back for the Ball, Edward. Please!", she begged.

" Um, I don't know about that. You know how Bella feels about these kinds of things. I'll certainly ask her, but I doubt she'll want to go."

Alice persisted, "Well, let me talk to her, and I will convince her."

" I will have her call you when she wakes up. You can't _see_ if we will be there?" He questioned.

"No, it's not coming in clear." She sounded frustrated.

"I'll let you know. Have a nice Christmas, Alice." He hung up on her.

I rolled over to face him and asked, "What was that about?"

"Oh, I though you were sleeping. Well, everyone is excited that you and I are back together. Alice wants us to come up for the New Years Eve ball next week." He continued to watch the television.

"Ball?", I asked.

"It's this formal thing that Carlisle's hospital throws every year. They all went last year and they said it was great." He explained, trying to hide the enthusiasm in his voice.

"Formal, like gowns and tuxedos?", I asked. He nodded his head. He smiled and I knew this was something he wanted to attend. Feeling badly that he didn't spend Christmas with his family, I decided that it wouldn't be so bad.

"So let's go then. But tell Alice I don't have a dress...or shoes."

Edward leaned his head down and kissed me on the lips. "You don't have to do this, if you don't want to."

"I know. But I am anxious to see Alice again, and I'm not going to pass up an opportunity to see you in a tuxedo."

Authors note:_ For those of you living under a rock, the actor Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward Cullen in the Twilight movie also plays Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter._

_By the way, a very rare first edition of Wuthering Heights costs between $125,000 and $250,000, totally making up for the crappy box of snack cakes._

_**Review Please!!! xoxo**_


	10. Chapter 10 Explanations

**Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

SOMETHING IS UP WITH THE FANFIC SITE I POSTED THIS A BUNCH OF TIMES AND IT SHOWED THE RIGHT CHAPTER TO ME BUT POSTS CHAPTER 9 SORRY

**Chapter 10**

We watched the sun set behind the trees, and sadness washed over me. It was time for me to go home. Even though I knew Edward would be waiting in my room as soon as I finished dinner with Charlie, it made me sad to leave. It was as if only he and I were the only things that existed in this big house surrounded by nothing but forest and snow. Our own little private world filled with love and laughter. Earlier, Edward heard the sound of snowplows in the distance, so I had no excuse to stay longer.

My boots had been completely destroyed in my disastrous adventure, so Edward carried me out to the garage still wearing my reindeer socks. He opened the door to the shiny black SUV and lifted me in.

" This is really nice, Edward. I didn't picture you as a truck kind of guy, though." , I said fastening my seatbelt.

" I'm not, I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it. It's too slow for me. I actually had my eye on the new BMW that just came out, but I can't justify having three cars. But it's funny that you mention it. I actually thinking that if you took this, then I could get the BMW without guilt."

"I am not taking your brand new truck, Edward." I scowled.

" Um, it's almost a year old and you would be doing me a huge favor."

"OK, so I take your $50,000 Range Rover, and _I'm _doing_ you_ a favor?" I shook my head annoyed at his logic.

"$75, 000, and yes, I really want the other car. If I sell this now, I won't get the money back that I paid for it." He was completely serious.

_Yeah, like money was a big concern for him._

" Bella, look. I have spent decades watching Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper buy gifts for the girls, and decades feeling envious of them. Carlisle bought Esme an entire island, for Pete's sake! I have unlimited resources, and I see no reason other than your ridiculous obstinance that I shouldn't be able to treat you to nice things. If you want to be with me, then you are going to have to become accustomed to me buying you things."

" Fine." I said giving up. Clearly I was not going to win this argument.

"Fine? Does that mean you will takes the truck?" He asked eagerly.

"Yup. Now pull over and let me drive my new car." _It was worth a shot._

Edward laughed at me and reached over to grasp my hand. As we pulled into the empty driveway, I sighed with relief that Charlie had not gotten home yet. I didn't have the strength for confrontation. I knew I would need to tell Charlie about Edward eventually, wondering what was worse, telling him about Edward's return or my not going back to school. The man was going to have a stroke right in front of me.

Edward carried me to the front door, and let me down at the doorway. Sensing my sadness, he touched my cheek and leaned over to kiss me.

" I will be back around eight. You should tell Charlie the truth, Bella. It will make things much easier."

" Easy for you to say. He's not your biggest fan, you know." That was an understatement. He was the President of the 'I Hate Edward Cullen Club' and Jacob was the Vice President. My guess would be that Mike Newton would be first in line to apply for the position of Treasurer.

" Then I will talk to him. We are not going to sneak around, Bella. That's just absurd." He kissed my forehead and turned to leave.

Once inside, I set the oven to 350* and slid the tray of lasagna in before I hobbled up the stairs to change. To my surprise, I had gotten my period four days earlier than expected. I wondered if it had anything to do with our escapades in the bathtub. This would certainly put a damper on things. Alice had explained a long time ago that menstrual blood was considered_ dead_, and didn't have the same effect on them as fresh blood. But since my blood was so powerful to Edward, it still bothered him, but he was too much of a gentleman to ever mention it. Throwing sexual lust on top of a bleeding human was a disastrous mix for a thirsty vampire, even a vegetarian vampire.

When I plugged the phone into the charger, the screen said I had eight missed calls. Five of them were from Charlie, one was from Jacob and the other two were from my mother. I called her immediately feeling terrible for forgetting about her, deciding I would call Jacob tomorrow. He would be livid about Edward coming home and that was one fight I was all too eager to put off.

After I apologized to Renee, I told her the truth about my whereabouts for the last 22 hours. I explained that Edward's disappearance was simply a misunderstanding, and that I was happy for the first time in ages. She understood as only a mother who is more a friend than a mother would. I told her I loved the sweater, and the rest of the outfits she sent and she told me she and Phil were crazy about the Linkin Park concert tickets I mailed to them. She went nuts when I told her about the New Year's Eve ball and begged me to send her pictures.

I changed into jeans and a sweater, wanting to at least look somewhat decent for Christmas dinner. When Charlie got home shortly after, I was putting the garlic bread into the oven and finishing up with the salad.

Dinner was quiet, with occasional small talk about Sue's family and my night In La Push with Jacob. I thought I had escaped the danger of the dreaded question when Charlie sat back rubbing his full stomach. He caught me off guard when I rose to clear the dishes.

" So where'd you spend the night, Bella?" He asked innocently, just trying to be a good father.

I took a deep breath, cringed and said, " I was with Edward, Dad." My back was turned toward the sink and I was grateful I didn't have to look him in the eye.

" _Edward Cullen_? Bells, are you serious? He finally has the guts to show his face around here what...two years after he leaves you for dead in the woods?" He was pretty angry.

" Dad, he never left me for dead, you know that. Turns out he did come back a few months after he left, but he saw me with Jake and thought were were dating. He didn't want to ruin things for me so he stayed away." I turned to face him.

"Humph. What, so now he wants to be your boyfriend again?" , he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and said " Yeah."

" Just like that?" He was frowning.

"Just like that." I replied. " I love him, Dad. I am going to be spending a lot of time with him, so I would like you to be nice to him."

" Well, you'll be back at school in a few weeks anyway." He said smugly, satisfied that Edward wouldn't get the chance to be around for too long.

That was my opportunity to tell him about school, but I chickened out. I just didn't feel like pressing my luck right now, since Charlie handled the Edward news better than expected.

I served us both a slice of apple pie and we went into the living room to open gifts. He loved the fishing pole I got him and I knew he would attempt to use it even though the lake would be frozen in this weather. I opened his gift and it was a tiny red digital camera, and a photo printer. I was definitely relieved it wasn't another box of Zebra Cakes. It was exactly what I wanted since the camera my mom got me two years ago was stolen from my dorm room the first week I was there. He also had gotten me a really ugly purple sweater and a gift certificate to a shoe store in Port Angeles. I hated the sweater and loved the gift certificate.

When we finished our dessert, and Charlie thanked me for cooking, the sound of the doorbell startled me. Edward had come a bit early, Hearing my father's annoyed thoughts, he knew I told him.

"I wasn't about to climb in the window if he knows", Edward whispered. I led him into the living room, and he held out his hand to my dad. Charlie shook it, grumbling something under his breath, but Edward just smiled and admired the fishing pole.

"Bella got this for you and left it at my house." He handed Charlie the tan 'Bite Me' hat. I rolled my eyes and left the room. Edward followed me into the kitchen where I had begun to wash the dishes and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Why did you give him my hat?", I asked. " I love that hat. I was gonna wear it when I drive my new car."

"So just wear the socks." He laughed. "You can drive it up to Port Angeles tomorrow if you want. There's a dealership there and I would like to order _my _new car." He said cheerfully as he kissed my neck.

" You will really let me drive?", I asked surprised.

" It's your truck, love. Did you tell Charlie?"

" About my new $75,000 truck? No, Edward, I don't want him to have a stroke. But if we're going to Port Angeles, I would like to stop and get a new pair of boots, if you don't mind."

" Of course I don't mind."

" Oh, by the way Bella", he added, whispering in to my collarbone, " if you press the nose of the reindeer socks, they light up."

"That's awesome Edward."


	11. Chapter 11&12

**Chapter 11**

Our trip to Port Angeles was very productive. At the car dealership, Edward behaved like a child in a toy store, his eyes wide with excitement. It was sweet to see him so thrilled about something, when his normal reactions were usually so passive.

The car he picked was a loaded, everything added, crazy luxury coupe that went zero to sixty in like two seconds. He chose a navy blue exterior with a tan leather interior, and he ordered this ridiculous GPS system that was so complicated that you actually needed to take a class to learn how to use it. He was ecstatic, and it was adorable._ It was so human of him_.

I almost hit the floor when the salesman gave him the final price. It was equivalent to three years of my college tuition.

In the shoe store, I found a pair of black boots very similar to the ones I destroyed only with a lower heel. Edward tried to pay for them but Charlie's Christmas gift card more than covered the cost, so he bought me a matching purse when I wasn't looking.

At his insistence, we went to lunch in the same restaurant that he took me to the night I went dress shopping with Angela and Jessica years ago. The mushroom ravioli was no longer offered on the menu, so I ended up getting chicken marsala and Edward ordered a steak that he later had wrapped up to take home to Charlie.

Touching my hand across the table, he gazed into my eyes and asked, "Did you ever imagine the last time we were here that we would go through so much together?"

No, " I replied, " if I knew, I would have let those guys drag me into the woods by my hair. It probably would have been less traumatic than the last two and a half years." I said it jokingly, but instantly regretted it when the look on Edward's face changed.

"Bella, I am so sorry for..." He began to apologize, but I cut him off.

"Edward, I was just kidding. Please stop feeling guilty. Stuff happens. Life goes on. What comes around goes around. When you love something you set it free and then the bird comes back and poops on your head." I couldn't remember any more cliches.

"That's not how the saying goes." Edward corrected.

"Whatever. We went through a ridiculous amount of things together, but in the end I guess it was all worth it to get here right now. I promise to not make any more stupid remarks like that. Anyway, I am really excited about New Year's Eve." I said in attempt to change the subject and lighten the mood. "Alice was thrilled when I told her to get me something sexy to wear."

"I am really looking forward to that. Remember, you need to tell Charlie you will be gone for a few days. We will probably stay at the hotel at least two nights. And then I would like to show you Carlisle and Esme's new house, of course. It's a long drive, we might as well make the most of it." He winked at me and I turned red understanding his sexual innuendo.

The waitress brought the check and Edward asked to have his untouched dinner wrapped. He actually let me drive on the way home so he could look at his car brochure. I didn't want to admit it, but driving the Range Rover was great. It made me feel bad for my old red truck, like I was betraying it or something.

I left the steak in the fridge for Charlie, and wrote him a note that I would be home in the morning. We had a discussion about me staying out over night which led to a lot of yelling and slamming of doors, mostly on my part. Eventually Charlie gave in, realizing that I was twenty years old and had lived on my own for the last two years. He didn't mention it, but I think part of the reason he gave in was because he saw how happy I was.

Edward and I slept in Carlisle and Esme's room which was weird because I knew they never actually slept in the bed. Its purpose was strictly for other recreational activities. Our activities were limited to kissing and over the clothes heavy petting, at least for the next few days. I asked Edward about the dead blood thing and he admitted it definitely made it harder to be around me, but it wasn't unmanageable if we refrained from lustful activities. We both fought the undeniable urge to be intimate with each other and it was actually becoming physically painful.

During the next week, we spent the days either at Edward's house or mine talking for endless hours. There was so much we both wanted to know about our time apart, and some things we learned, were better left unsaid. He had a hard time knowing that I was so miserable because of his actions, and I had a difficult time trying to convince him that I was OK with it.

I learned that he kissed Tanya, not once, but twice. The first time was after he first met me in Biology when he disappeared from school those few days. He had fled to Denali, and Tanya, who had always had a thing for him, tried to 'comfort' him. The second time was a few days prior to him coming to Forks again, when her family came to visit the Cullen's for Christmas.

Both times she attempted to seduce him, and the first time he let her, thinking that she would make him forget about wanting to kill me. The second, most recent, she cornered Edward in his bedroom and practically pounced on him. But he said her seduction led to only a few short kisses before he turned her down knowing she would be deeply hurt when he rejected her advances. Tanya, it seemed, thought Edward was her match. He assured me that he was never even attracted to her, and it didn't even bother me all that much. What did get to me was the fact that he was able to kiss her. _Really_ kiss her, with teeth and tongue in mouth and all the good stuff that comes with kissing. The way Edward and I kissed was like two First Graders sneaking behind the monkey bars. It was passionate, but very chaste.

I also learned that Jasper fled to Canada immediately after the incident on my birthday, with Alice following him. Edward said Jasper wasn't able to look him in the eye and he wouldn't stop apologizing for what he had done to me. Jasper went into a deep depression, not speaking to anyone but Alice, and refusing to hunt for months as penance for attacking me. It took almost a year for him to return home. Edward told him that he never blamed him for anything, but Jasper knew that his actions caused all of the Cullen's pain, particularly Edward. He warned me that Jasper would be with the family at the party, and would most likely keep his distance from me for obvious reasons. That saddened me terribly to know that Jasper was hurting because of me.

During the day, at my request, Edward taught me how to dance. I was sick of feeling like a clod and I was determined to at least attempt to look like I belonged by his side in public. I picked up the basic steps quicker than I thought, but not without smashing his toes a few hundred times. Edward's patience was astounding, as he led me gracefully to the music all the while whispering words of encouragement and praise at my accomplishments.

At night, for the few hours I was left unattended, I would turn om my CD player and dance. I looked on the Internet for websites that taught how to dance in a night club and feeling totally ridiculous, I imitated the videos watching myself in the full length mirror. I always made sure to lock my window and bedroom door, because if Edward or Charlie ever saw me jamming to the bass I would absolutely die of embarrassment.

The night before New Year's Eve, I packed a bag full of mostly dressy clothes and Edward picked me the next morning. We were driving to Portland Oregon, to a high end hotel called The Nines, where the hospital's New Year's Eve party was held. Just outside of Portland was also where the Cullen's now called home.

When I learned that the Cullens had made their residence only 5 hours from Forks, I was instantly irritated. They were so close, how did no one run into them? Edward told me that they kept to themselves, and no one enrolled in school there. Rosalie and Emmett spent the last eighteen months traveling, and Jasper and Alice had gotten their own place a few blocks away from Carlisle and Esme. I thought how sad it must have been for Esme to be all alone in the house, with Edward gone most of the time,_ busy stalking me_, and Carlisle at work at the hospital.

On the drive, Edward and I talked for a long time, laughing and singing to his CD's. But when it grew quiet, he shut the music and caught me off guard.

"Bella, what are we going to do when you go back to school in a few weeks?" I knew he would be upset about my hiatus, as education was always a priority for him, so I failed to mention it before.

" Um, about that. I'm not actually going back to school, not until next semester." I expected Edward to immediately begin lecturing me, instead a wide grin spread across his face.

" You aren't taking off because of me are you?" he asked. I explained my need for a break after several rough semesters and I assured him that it was planned well in advance of our reunion. He suggested I take only one or two classes as opposed to completely withdrawing.

"Even if I wanted to cut down on classes, my scholarship requires me to take 15 credits. And I need to take at least 12 credits to stay in the dorms. I already gave up my door assignment, so it's too late. I thought you might be happy that we can spend more time together." I said disappointed.

"No, no, I am, I just want to make sure you aren't doing anything foolish because of me. I..."

He hesitated, and shook his head changing his mind.

"Don't worry, Edward, not everything is about you." I teased squeezing his hand. _Yeah right Bella, who are you kidding?_

We stopped only once for me to use the bathroom and grab a quick bite to eat. After a while, we were both quiet. I had been staring out the window, leaning back on the soft leather seat, daydreaming about everything and nothing. I was so content, so udderly and ridiculously happy for the first time in ages. I didn't have to worry about school, or work, or Charlie or especially about Edward. My mind was free.

It was at that moment that I could literally feel the ragged edges of the hole in my heart sear together seamlessly, closing with it the pain and the loneliness of the least two years and three months of my life. I was able to breathe again.

Edward turned to me, placing his hand over mine and quietly said, "What are you thinking about?"

I thought for a moment and turned my face to look at him.

"I was thinking about how for the first time in so long, I feel _whole. _Like there were pieces of my body missing that I knew were supposed to be there and didn't appear until you came back into my life. I feel like I can breathe again. Edward, I am so happy, I want to stand at the edge of a balcony on the tallest building in the world and scream as loud as I possibly can." I wiped away tears of joy and laughed at myself.

He squeezed my hand, and said excitedly, " I know. I know _exactly_ how you feel. I wasn't able to put it into words, but you just said it perfectly. It felt like I had lost an arm or a leg. And there was an elephant sitting on my chest, and now the terrible ache is finally gone. I know it sounds so cliché, but my senses are so heightened with you around me. Like the sun is warmer, and the colors are more vivid, and a simple song sounds like a symphony. I find my self smiling for no reason, and yesterday, I was so caught up in thinking about you that I walked into a wall!" He laughed at himself..

"Oh, I do that all the time. I think I might be rubbing off on you too much. It's funny, because I find myself smiling at nothing, and singing._ I don't sing. _Charlie thinks I am possessed."

"I guess this is what love is, Bella."

And he was right. This was love, in its truest, purest form.

And it was ours for as long as we both existed...the vampire and the human, the lion and the lamb.

**Chapter12**

"Cullen, Edward."

"Oh yes, Mr. Cullen. What a pleasure to have you stay with us! Oh, and is this Mrs. Cullen?" The lady behind the reception desk smiled at me.

"Not, yet, but hopefully someday soon" , he responded smiling at me. I blushed and smiled back.

"Here are your keys. It's room 609, up the elevator to the sixth floor and all the way down the hall at the end." She said, handing us two credit card shaped keys." Oh, I see you had a delivery sent to the room earlier. Your family is in the suite above you on the seventh floor. OK, then have a wonderful stay and enjoy the view."

We thanked her and headed toward the elevator. The hotel was huge, beautiful, and obviously expensive. We walked past the restaurant, which had a large dance floor and a bar, and Edward paused momentarily looking in. In the corner of the room was a massive black grand piano, similar to the one he owned.

"We can have dinner here tomorrow evening if you like." He said, putting his arm around my waist.

We rode in the elevator up to our room, which already had our luggage waiting there for us. There were 5 garment bags and a shopping bag hanging in the closet in the entryway of the room. Edward tore off the note that was taped to the first bag and handed it to me.

_You can thank me later ( With anything by Chanel or Prada.)_

_Love, Alice_

He went out to the balcony to examine the view while I unzipped the first garment bag. In it was a short black strapless satin dress with a slit up the right thigh. I smiled, knowing that my almost healed injury was on my left thigh and that Alice could see that. The next bag held a long royal blue gown with an asymmetrical shoulder strap. It was very plain and on the conservative side and I immediately liked it. The third bag held a long burgundy silk gown with a satin finish. It had a halter neck line and it was cut very low down the front. I frowned at that one. In the fourth bag was Edward's tuxedo. He came in and looked at the label in the jacket.

I raised a curious eyebrow at him and he said, "Just checking to see if it was the Armani. Alice was so excited that we were coming, I was afraid she wasn't paying close attention to my instructions."

"Of course, Armani", I mumbled opening the last garment bag. It was a long wide piece of deep brown fur. I looked at Edward questioningly and he laughed.

"A peace offering from Rosalie."

"She's giving me the leftovers from her dinner?" I asked, completely serious.

Edward said, "No, silly. It's a stole. You wear it over a formal gown." He unzipped the bag all the way down and lifted the fur off of the hanger. Turning me toward the mirror, he wrapped the fur around me, letting the ends drape off my elbows. It was beautiful, but I wasn't really into wearing fur. Not that I was one of those people who was into animal rights or anything, _seeing as I was in love with a vegetarian Vampire_, but fur wasn't something that was ever attractive to me.

"There's actually a funny story attached to this", he said. " Rosalie and Emmett were hunting one day and they came across a small den of fox. We normally don't hunt them but Rosalie wanted to taste...um try something new. After she had killed two of the fox, the others became territorial and there were suddenly more fox than she could count. They began attacking her and Emmett had to help fight them off. They couldn't leave 25 dead fox in the woods, it was just too obvious. So she made Emmett carry the carcases all the way home and they had coats made from them. Emmett wanted to take them to the taxidermy to have them all stuffed. He thought it would be quite hilarious to put the stuffed fox on our human neighbor's front doorsteps and watch them freak out." he explained laughing.

"You don't have to wear it if you don't want to", he said hanging it back up in the closet.

The ring of Edward's phone interrupted us, and when he answered it he spoke so quickly I couldn't understand a word.

"They want us to come upstairs."

*****

Carlisle opened the door on the first knock. He held his arms out to me giving me a long hug, and then did the same to Edward patting him on the back. Rosalie was perched on the couch in the living area of the suite reading US Weekly. She looked up, smiled and went back to reading.

"Don't exert yourself, Rose." Edward said dryly putting his arm around me.

In an attempt to put forth some effort, Rosalie looked at us and said, "Hi Edward, Hi Bella." She gave Edward a sour look and continued reading.

Emmett came bounding over to us slapping Edward on the back and lifting me up in the air.

"Bella!"

"Hi, Emmett!" I squealed.

Rosalie muttered "Neanderthal" from the couch.

One of the three bedroom doors opened and Alice danced out excitedly hugging me and talking a mile a minute. I hugged her back trying to understand any of the things she was saying and laughed at her overt display of affection.

She whispered, "I missed you so much , Bella. Edward told me not to ..."

She stopped when the same door opened slowly, and Jasper stepped out warily. Noticing his apprehension, I stepped toward him with my hand extended.

"Hi Jasper, it's nice to see you again." I said, hoping that was the most appropriate thing to say to the vampire that tried to kill me.

He slowly strode toward me and then dropped to one knee holding my extended hand in his. Kissing the top of my hand, he quietly said "Bella, I am deeply sorry for my behavior. Will you forgive me?"

I tugged on his hand urging him to stand back up.

"Jasper, apologizing to me for your behavior is like me apologizing to you for breathing. You behaved in the way that is only natural to you. It was totally my fault for being so clumsy. I was never, ever upset with you, and I hope we can put it all behind us. Friends?" I meant every word, hoping he could see that.

He looked at Edward and said, "Yes, friends. You have got yourself a real diamond here, brother."

Edward replied sweetly, "I am lucky, aren't I?"

I turned to him and not even thinking said, "I'm the lucky one."

Rosalie stuck her finger down her throat and made a gagging sound.

"Alright already! The world is all cotton candy and pixie dust for Bella and Edward. Jasper, Bella forgives you for trying to kill her. Bella, stay away from any form of paper when you're near Jasper, OK? Can we pleeeease move on now?" She rolled her eyes and flipped the page of the magazine.

Hearing this, Esme came out of the other bedroom and hissed disapprovingly at Rosalie. She hugged me tightly and told me how happy she was to see us both together. She then informed me that the girls were going to have a spa day.

Before either Edward or I could protest, Emmett threw his big arm around Edward's shoulder and began to lead him out of the room.

"According to Alice, Edward is going to need to hunt before the party tonight." Emmett informed us, as Jasper and Carlisle followed them out the door.

"What does that mean?" I asked Alice.

Alice shrugged her shoulders and said, "Let's just say that in my vision I saw what no sister should ever see their brother do, and that it would be much better for the both of you if Edward wasn't thirsty." She grabbed her purse off the table and headed out the door.

How much more mortified could I possibly be? Alice saw Edward and I together, being intimate, and the whole family knew.

Red faced, I followed them down to the lobby where we entered the spa. Alice had arranged for me to have a massage and facial. It was my first time having either and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. After it was finished, when my entire body felt like Jello, and my skin glowed as if radioactive, I showered and met Alice for our manicure and pedicure appointment. Esme and Rosalie left to have their hair done. When our nails and toes were perfectly polished, we headed toward the hair salon. Alice ordered the stylist to give me big spiral curls that cascaded around my shoulders and down my back. The stylist slicked her dark spikes into a sleek chignon held with a sparkly pink barrette.

As our makeup was being attended to we chatted about what we had missed in each other's lives and the circumstances that led Edward and I to be together again. She apologized for her absence and for not saying goodbye to me, noting that Edward strictly forbid any contact with me. She told me of Jasper's depression and of his flight and I understood, letting her know I held no grudge. She also apologized for her visions, saying that Edward had demanded she not tell him anything she saw of me. But when she had the vision of Jacob and I together, she only told him to give him the push he needed to come back and get me. She never thought it would backfire.

At the mention of Jacob's name, I checked my cell phone and saw that I had another missed call from him. We were playing phone tag, but he had no idea that I was doing it on purpose. I didn't want Jacob's tirade to dampen my fantastic mood. Before Edward picked me up, I asked Charlie not to mention it to Sue, who would mention it to Seth, who would in turn mention it to Jacob. I decided I would tell him about Edward's return when I got home.

When our makeup was finished and we resembled celebrities, Alice and I headed up to her room so she could get dressed. She emerged from the bedroom a second later wearing a short, sparkling pink dress with spaghetti straps. She looked like a glittering fairy without wings.

Then we went down a flight to our room to pick the right dress for me. I noticed that Edward's tuxedo was gone from the closet.

Alice said the black wasn't formal enough, so I figured I would wear it to dinner tomorrow night. I tried on the plain blue dress and while it looked really nice, I was compelled to see what the gorgeous burgundy one looked like off the hanger.

The dress was even more stunning on. The fluid silk skimmed my body like it was custom tailored for me. The plunging halter tied at the nape of my neck with long burgundy ribbons that hung down the length of my back. The dress was completely backless scooping just above my tail bone clearly designed to never be sat down in. Knowing this, Alice had purchased a tiny burgundy thong that was invisible under the dress. The hemline had a train that flowed out about a foot behind me when I walked. I knew I would need to be extra careful tonight.

The dress was very old Hollywood, like something Ava Gardner or Marilyn Monroe would have worn. I understood why the stole would look so appropriate with this dress. Alice clasped a glittering diamond choker around my neck, and a matching diamond cuff bracelet on my wrist.

"Don't lose these, they are real," she warned.

I slipped on the burgundy satin ankle strap shoes thanking Alice for keeping them under three inches high and looked in the mirror. I was in awe. My skin actually glowed against the deep burgundy and my hair, as huge as it was, looked like it belonged on a Hollywood starlet. The dress, though not my taste, and way too provocative for me looked amazing and I was thrilled that we didn't go with the blue.

Her tiny pink purse vibrated and she rifled through it to find her phone.

"No, were still finishing up here. We will meet you downstairs in a few." Alice turned toward me and said, "Edward is anxious. He misses you."

She opened up the garment bag with the fur stole and wrapped it around me letting the long ends fall almost to the floor.

"Perfect. You will bring him to his knees when you walk into that room. I've been running that stupid Harry Potter movie in my head so he can't see you in my thoughts. Did you know he has this weird distaste for that movie?"

The butterflies fluttered nervously in my stomach. I had spent every waking moment with Edward for the last seven days, but suddenly I was filled with a strange anxiety about not being able to get to him fast enough. Taking a deep breath and checking my lipstick one last time in the mirror I motioned for the door.

We stepped onto the elevator and eagerly headed toward the top floor of the hotel where Edward was waiting up there for me.

**Twilight Belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **


	12. Chapter 13& 14

**Chapter 13**

The elevator ascended up three floors to the top of the building where the ball room was located. When the doors opened, we stepped into the beautifully decorated lobby crowded with people. They were dressed to the nines checking their coats heading excitedly toward the party. I felt completely self conscious, as I watched heads turn and curious stares in our direction.

I whispered to Alice, " Why is everyone staring at us?"

She responded, " Because you look like a celebrity, Bella. Enjoy it, just don't trip or anything!"

We made our way over to the giant ballroom decorated in shimmery silver and gold. I immediately spotted Emmett's huge stature over toward the bar, and then saw Edward next to him holding a glass of champagne. As expected, he looked drop dead gorgeous in his Armani tux. My heart skipped a beat as I couldn't help but notice how nicely the fitted jacket hung from his lean physique, his bronze hair coiffed to perfection. Edward's appearance looked as if it took hours of preparation, but I knew it was effortless.

Edward was leaning on the bar, laughing and chatting with Jasper and Carlisle. As Alice and I crossed the room toward them, I watched Edward's mouth stop mid conversation when he caught sight of me. His hand cupped over his mouth and he shook his head. I couldn't tell if that was a good or bad sign.

Alice skipped over to Jasper planting a kiss on his cheek. Turning from the bar with champagne in hand, Edward started toward me. His hand reached out clasping mine, spinning me around to get a full view.

His arms slid around my waist and pulling me into him, he whispered, "You are never, ever wearing this dress again. Every man in this room has mentally undressed you, and every woman is insanely jealous of you. You can't imagine the things they are thinking right now."

Surprised at his displeasure, I responded, " Edward I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

He laughed and kissed me softly saying, "I am teasing you, love. You look absolutely stunning. My knees actually went weak when I saw you across the room. Hmmmm, if this dress looks this good on you now, I can't wait to see how good it looks on the floor later." His eyes widened and he smiled.

"How long have you been waiting to use that line?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Since 1984."

He handed me the glass of champagne and I took small sips from it as we headed back toward the crowded bar. Carlisle and Esme were chatting with another couple and they motioned for us to join them when they spotted us. Carlisle introduced us to the Chief of Staff at the hospital and his wife. We spoke with them for a bit and then Edward and I excused ourselves, heading over to our table.

He whispered, "Do you see that young woman in the corner? That's the Chief of Staff's mistress. And that woman over there in the red gown, she's a nurse at the hospital and has a major thing for Carlisle." He scanned the room revealing all the scandalous thoughts in the party goers heads. Another reason I was so glad he couldn't read my mind.

We sat at the table, and I pulled my new camera out of my little shiny purse. As the waiter took our dinner requests, he filled my champagne glass to the top. The rest of the Cullens joined us a few minutes after, looking more beautiful than I ever thought possible.

The wait staff began to bring out the appetizers and salads, and I realized I was the only one eating, which made me very self conscious. When I had finished picking at my food, Edward stood up, reached for my hand and very formally asked me to dance. We walked out to the dance floor, and Edward led me slowly to the timing of the music, just as he had taught me. It was actually so satisfying to finally feel like I finally belonged on Edward's arm. While we danced, Edward didn't say much but his expression read that he was proud of my efforts.

Emmett and Rosalie joined us on the crowded dance floor, and then eventually Alice, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle were dancing along side of us. The music gradually changed to a much more up beat tempo and then the DJ began handing out maracas, Hawaiian leis and cheesy neon sunglasses.

That's when the mayhem ensued.

You would think that three vampires dressed in tuxedos, each decades old, would be able to contain themselves for an evening. But such was not the case.

Emmett began to dance like a chicken flapping imaginary wings and jerking his big head in circles. Jasper made a poor attempt at the _running man _and Edward did an impressive impersonation of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. Alice began to do her own version of the macarena, and Rosalie walked away completely disgusted. Esme and Carlisle slipped out of the room inconspicuously, in an attempt to save themselves any embarrassment. My little red camera snapped away at my silly vampires, who hammed it up for the photos.

I grabbed another glass of champagne off a passing waiter's tray and stood there thinking that I had spent so much time in my room trying to learn to dance when I would have just looked like a superstar next to these fools. I learned later, that it was tradition for them to act ridiculous at formal events. It was their way of making fun of human customs. They were having a ball, and when Edward took hold of my hand forcing me to dance with them, I didn't protest. It also helped that I had three glasses of champagne in me. I realized that I wasn't a complete idiot on the dance floor, and no one was staring or making fun of me.

Emmett grabbed a hold of my hand and spun me in circles, and Edward did some 50's jive dance with his sister, while Jasper pretended to sing into a maraca microphone. We touched our cheeks together as Edward held out his long arm and took pictures of us wearing silly hats and glow in the dark headbands. I had never had so much fun before in my whole life. We were all laughing and dancing, and it took me a while to realize that the rest of the crowded dance floor had joined in the celebration. Even Carlisle and Esme were dancing...far away from us, but dancing none the less.

I was sweating and out of breath, and feeling a lovely buzz from my champagne. Edward grabbed me around the waist and kissed me laughing.

He yelled over the music, "Are you having a good time?"

I yelled back, "Isn't it obvious? This is great! I am having so much fun! But I think I need some air." Edward took my hand, grabbed my fur from the back of my chair and led me through the crowded room to the balcony outside.

Touching his bow tie, I pressed my body into his and said, "You are soooo handsome."

Edward kissed me and replied, "You are soooo drunk. You are going to get sick, and holding your hair while you vomit into the toilet is not what I had planned for the remainder of the evening."

"The champagne makes me dance better", I said protesting." Besides, I am not drunk. I just needed some bravery tonight."

I really wasn't drunk. I was definitely tipsy, feeling this sort of tingly numbness but no where near the point of stumbling or slurring my words. At school they called alcohol "liquid courage" or "balls in a bottle", and now I knew why. The champagne left me feeling completely uninhibited and totally brave.

There were no other people out on the large balcony except for Edward and I, probably because it was freezing outside. Looking around and knowing I would not have this opportunity again, I said, " I want to do something right now."

Edward stepped back with curious eyes and watched as I held onto the railing with both hands and stood on my tippy toes. He immediately put his ice cold hands on my waist, not taking any chances that I would fall over the side.

I took a deep breath and yelled as loud as I could into the city below me,

"EDWARD CULLEN LOVES ME!!!"

He let out a huge laugh and pulled me tight into his chest. He looked around, making sure no one heard me, leaned out over the balcony railing, and yelled,

"ISABELLA SWAN IS GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME TONIGHT!!!"

My mouth dropped open and I punched him in the arm. Somewhere in the distance we heard someone yell back, "Good for you!"

We went back into the ballroom when a group of young doctors and nurses came out to have a smoke.

I headed off to the ladies room to refresh my makeup and use the toilet. When I emerged from the stall, Rosalie was at the mirror fluffing her blonde curls and blotting her red lip gloss.

"Hi Rosalie." I said.

" Hi Bella", she said as she turned toward me. "I see you like my gift. Are you having a good time?", she said glaring at the fur around my arms.

"I like it very much, thanks. It was nice of you. I'm having a great time, how about you?" If I ever thought so before, now definitely confirmed it; Rosalie was scary. But with my 'beer balls' on, I was ready for her.

"It would be better if those jackasses didn't have to make complete idiots of themselves." she snorted.

"Oh, they are just having fun. You should try it. You might actually like it." I meant the words to come out sweet, but instead they came out snotty.

"You know Bella, I don't mean to be a bitch", she informed me in her usual tone. "When Carlisle changed me I was going through a terrible bout of PMS and I got stuck this way for eternity. It's not my fault everyone irritates me."

I decided at that moment, I felt bad for her and what I did next would go down in Cullen history.

I leaned over, hugged her and then kissed her on the cheek.

The horrified look on her face showed me that she clearly did not appreciate my friendly gesture, so I hurriedly opened the door and ran out.

When I got outside the door I realized what I had just done, I ran to find Edward. He was back on the dance floor, the last person on a conga line, with Jasper, Emmet and Alice in front of him. Carlisle and Esme were leading the line. I stared in disbelief. They just didn't strike me as conga line kind of vampires.

He spotted me and reached out to drag me into the line with him.

"Hide, me Edward." I pleaded.

"Why, what's the matter?" he yelled over the music with concern on his face.

"Rosalie is going to kick my ass."

We sat down shortly after as dinner was being served. Rosalie glared at me from across the table and I made sure to avoid making further eye contact with her. The Cullen family assumed to eat, pushing their food around their plates and pretending to chew. There were napkins brought up to the corners of mouths, wiping away imaginary bits of food. Water glasses tipped at lips, drinking nothing. They even clinked glasses a few times. Emmett actually 'choked' on his dinner causing everyone to fake concern for him. Edward force fed me forkfuls of potatoes from his plate trying to lessen the effects of the champagne.

I watched my beautiful vampires display their bizarre behavior and laughed out loud at them. They certainly did a good job of acting human.

The music began again, and this time I asked Edward to dance. He twirled me around the dance floor, gracefully, while I only tripped once on the train of my gown. Emmett approached us and asked Edward if he could cut in. He handed me over to his big brother, who took over where Edward left off.

"You look awesome tonight, Bella."

"Thanks, Emmett. You look pretty awesome yourself." I beamed.

"You know, I gotta say that it took a lot of guts to hug _and_ kiss Rosalie. No one ever has done that before. I have a new found respect for you. But don't let her fool you. She likes you a lot, she just doesn't have any friends so it's very hard for her to show affection, especially toward a human."

"She told me she has perpetual PMS. I feel bad for her Emmett. She seems so miserable all the time, and she has such good things in her life. I just thought she could use a friendly hug. She scares me though. I can't imagine what she would be like if she was happy."

Emmett lat out a huge laugh. "Speaking of happy...Edward is about to explode. Seriously, my brother did not stop talking about you for a second today, and he isn't one to really share his feelings. You are good for him, Bella. He needs you."

He smiled at me and I smiled back, knowing that I needed Edward as much as he needed me.

Edward strode back across the dance floor, and handed me a sparkling gold tiara and Emmet a shiny silver top hat. Alice danced over wearing a tiara as well and placed a gold top hat on Edward's head. She snapped pictures with my camera and hugged me, happy that we were all together. Jasper, Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie, joined us on the dance floor as the DJ handed out horns and noisemakers to all the guests. Most of the people from the party had gathered in groups, anxiously awaiting the countdown to the new year.

Edward stood with his hand at my waist, stroking the small of my back with his frigid fingers. As the voice over the microphone beamed out " Ten, nine, eight..." Edward turned to me looking deeply into my eyes.

"I love you." He whispered into my ear.

" Seven , six , five..."

"I love you too, Edward." I whispered back.

" Four, three, two, one. Happy New Year!"

We leaned forward pressing our lips together as confetti filled the air and balloons rained down on us from the ceiling. There were horns blaring and the sounds of clapping and cheering, but Edward and I

were in our own private world. The moment was surreal. Esme snapped a picture but neither of us noticed the blinding flash and we continued to kiss.

I felt Edward' s hand gently caress the back of my thigh and glide upward resting on my silk covered behind. His other hand slipped underneath the silk at my tail bone and his finger looped onto the band of my thong underwear. _Edward was brave tonight too._

Butterflies flooded my insides and I instantly blushed when I felt myself become wet with desire. Edward noticed, whispering, " Your scent is so...sweet." He kissed my neck and I slipped my hands under his tuxedo jacket, around his rear end.

"Like cupcakes?", I asked in my most sensual voice.

Emmett leaned over and cleared his throat. "You guys are gross."

I stuck my tongue at him and Edward's fingers meshed through mine, as he hurriedly led me off the dance floor toward the front doors. Edward snatched my purse and fur off our table with blinding speed while I glanced over my shoulder back at the dance floor to see all of the Cullen's gathered staring at us as we exited. Alice's hand raised up in a little knowing wave and Emmet and Jasper hit their fists together. They knew where we were going and what we were going to do.

As we waited for the elevator to open, Edward tapped his foot impatiently, and I squeezed my knees together. I had never wanted anything more in my whole life. The anticipation was mind boggling.

We glided into the mirrored elevator and pushed the button for the sixth floor. Before the doors even closed, Edward pushed me gently against the wall, and leaned his hips into mine. His knee parted my legs and he rubbed his thigh into me while I wrapped my leg around the back of his knee. I gasped as his icy cold hands slipped under my gown again. His kisses trailed along my neck to my collarbone and back again causing me to sigh. I united his bow tie letting it hang around his neck. My hands grasped his collar and slid his jacket off his arms then my shaking fingers fumbled to open the top three buttons of his white shirt.

The elevator descended and the doors opened on the seventh floor. We turned our heads back to each other when we realized we still had one more floor to go. An elderly couple stood at the doorway, mouths open in disbelief. They hesitated, and Edward slowly turned his face from my neck and glared at them.

Noticing they seemed startled by his vampire scariness, and wanting to make them go away, I leaned toward them and sneered, " My blood.... smells like cupcakes."

The lady gasped "Oh my!", and her husband rushed her out of the way. The doors closed again allowing us to resume our kissing and groping. My heart beat furiously and I felt little beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

As nervous as I was about the upcoming events, I had an unexplained confidence about me. I had waited a long time for this, as did Edward, and we were about to begin a whole new chapter in our relationship. It was only moments away, and we couldn't be more ready.

**Chapter 14**

We flew to the end of the hallway opening the door, and rushed in. Edward momentarily paused at the entryway to throw his jacket over a chair.

"Just give me a minute, love. I have to take care of something." Opening a dresser drawer, he pulled a bag from it while I headed out to the balcony to cool off. My body tingled while my mind raced and I was very glad the champagne made it slightly difficult to focus on one thought.

Through the glass doors I watched Edward carefully scatter a dozen or so white candles around the room, lighting them with matches. He clicked the lights off and the room emitted a soft, almost sensual glow. Music floated out of his i pod as he placed it in the dock on the nightstand.

A few minutes later, the balcony doors opened and Edward glided to my side barefoot and shirtless, wrapping his cold arms around my waist and pressing his lips into my shoulder.

"Are you sure you are ready to do this?" He whispered.

"Of course. Are you?" I wondered if he was having cold feet. _Ha, cold feet_.

"I can not wait to make love to you, Bella. Just promise me that if I hurt you even in the slightest way, you will tell me immediately." His sweet breath was icy on my neck instantly cooling off the flush that creeped up unexpectedly as he ran his fingertips up my inner thigh.

He drew his fingers up to the back of my neck moved my hair over one shoulder, and tugged on the end of the satin ribbon that tied the dress to me. The ribbons released, letting the featherweight fabric fall downward exposing my breasts to the elements. I unwrapped the fur stole, allowing the dress to fall to the floor in a puddle of burgundy. Edward sighed, and touched his hand to my breast taking the end of the soft fur and rubbing it against my erect nipples. He continued to kiss my collarbone sending delicious chills up and down my spine. I was standing outside on the balcony in a fur stole, thong and stilettos, with the tiara still on my head, absolutely freezing.

We entered the room again and Edward sat down on the edge of the enormous bed parting his legs so that I was standing in front of him. He kissed my stomach just above the panty line and licked chilling circles toward my navel.

I let the fur drop to the floor so I could run my fingers through his silky hair. Edward inhaled deeply, exhaling in a soft moan.

"You are absolutely breathtaking, you know that?" He kissed my hipbone running his fingers along the band of the thong. Slowly, he slipped his finger around the band and pulled it down until my damp panties were around my knees and then on the floor. When I carefully stepped out of them, almost losing my balance, Edward stood up, and gently nudged me toward an oversized armchair in the corner of the room. I sat down in the chair as he sunk to his knees in front of me.

I leaned back into the pillow while his hands grabbed my knees from underneath to pull me to the edge of the chair. Edward kissed my knees, then made his way to my inner thighs and then upward to my hipbones. One hand traveled up toward my breast massaging it gently, his thumb running over the nipple.

My pulse quickened, my core burning with anticipation. Edward's icy cold fingers caressed the length of my center and gently entered inside of me. I arched my back in approval, trying to angle my self so that his fingers went deeper into me. His fingers curled forward grazing my _spot _and my body jerked in response. Then he lifted my knee and moved my leg so that it hung over the arm of the chair, leaving me wide open for him.

His thumb rubbed against my pleasure spot and I moaned with eager delight. His tongue, moist and cool, darted out and licked the inside of my thigh towards my center. It entered me forcing me to raise my hips in pleasure. My hands tangled in Edward's hair, grabbed the back of his head forcefully pushing him into me deeper. He pinched my nipple and I yelped in pleasure, wanting more. His moist tongue playfully darted inside and out of me, licking long strokes up and down my center and then furiously on my clitoris.

I gripped the arms of the chair as I felt my insides begin to ripple, and knowing I wanted to save my orgasm for _him_, pushed his head away. Edward looked up, confused when I whispered for him to stand up.

He rose, grabbed me under my arms lifting me off the chair and gently lay me down on the bed. The button on his pants opened and he unzipped the zipper, pulling his pants off and laying his cool alabaster body beside me. He pulled off my shoes without unbuckling the straps, then tossed them across the hotel room.

We kissed, and I ran my hands up and down his chest and his arms feeling the tight muscles in his forearms and abdomen. I could taste myself on his mouth, cool, sweet and slightly bitter. My hand found his hardness and stroked it gently squeezing as I reached the top. Edward's breathing quickened as did mine.

"Edward, I want you inside of me, _now please"_, I begged in a hoarse whisper. He sat up on his knees folding his legs underneath him. Pulling me toward him, he opened my legs and grabbed under my knees lifting them. He leaned over me, stared into my eyes and grazed the icy cold head of his manhood over my warm, slick opening. I ran my hands down his back and gripped his rear. I moaned with delight, watching his satisfied expression, his golden amber eyes excited as they burned into mine. Then, slowly he entered me.

At first it was a bit uncomfortable, my body taking its time to become accustomed to the large cold foreign object pulsating in my core. But soon Edward's slow rhythmic thrusts grew into the pleasure that made me scream his name. His finger found my swollen clit again and made small circles into it as he continued to move inside of me. His mouth searched for my breast and his lips formed around my nipple sucking and pulling gently.

The pleasure was so intense I wanted to rip my hair out and make him stop, but at the same time I wanted him deeper into me. I arched my back thrusting my hips toward him moaning as the waves of lightening bolts coursed through my entire body. My hands were tearing at the skin on his back, my nails pressed deep into his marble muscles. The sound of Edward's moaning took me to the edge.

I was panting, moaning, screaming his name so loudly all of Portland could hear. My teeth felt oddly numb and I am pretty sure I lost vision for a few seconds. I was so breathless, I was actually concerned that I was going to hyperventilate.

Outside, I heard the popping and whistling of fireworks in the night sky and wondered if they were actually out there or if Edward was so amazing that I was imagining them.

I heard him moan and I knew he was nearing his orgasm.

He screamed, "Oh, Bella, Bella!" and I watched his face twist up as he released in me.

When our bodies finally relaxed and I regained my breathing pattern, Edward pulled out of me slowly as he finished. He slowly dropped down next to me, kissing my lips softly and touching my cheek.

"'I love you, Bella."

"I love _you._ That was...amazing, Edward. Hey, do you hear fireworks?" I whispered.

"Yes, why?"

"I thought they were an orgasm induced hallucination." I laughed.

Edward chuckled, "I'm not _that_ good."

"Oh, you are good at everything, this being at the very top of the list."

"It was that good? You were so quiet, I wasn't sure if I was doing it right", he teased. I kissed the smirk on his face and ran my fingers through his wild sex hair. He pulled the tiara that I forgot I was wearing out of my tangled curls and placed it on the nightstand. Edward slowly rose and walked over to the balcony doors drawing open the curtains, letting the blasts of the fireworks illuminate the room.

"I didn't think it would be so much...fun", he said laughing as he lay back down next to me.

"Oh, well I'm glad I was able to show you a good time!" I responded sarcastically.

"Did I hurt you at all?" He asked scanning my body for bruises.

"No, not at all." I checked with him. "In fact, you could be a little less gentle next time, if you like."

"Is it what you had expected?" He asked purely curious as he played with a strand of my hair.

I thought for a moment as to how I should phrase it."Well, it was better, actually. I know the first time for a woman is supposed to be somewhat painful. And with you constantly telling me that you could break me in half, I was sort of petrified. But it didn't hurt at all, it was totally pleasurable. I just don't think I expected it to be so...exciting. I kind of pictured us quieter, you know? Anyway, it was beautiful Edward, and the candles and music just made it well, perfect I guess. And for you?"

"Well, if I knew it would be this amazing and _easy_, I would have ravaged you years ago. It was truly the most pleasurable experience I have ever had." He smiled and found the top of the bedspread pulling it down, moving us under the covers.

Edward kissed my lips and whispered, "You are so beautiful in this light. I am so in love with you, Bella, you know that right?"

I shook my head and murmured, "Mmmm hummmm." I lay my head on his chest and Edward caressed my hair, running his fingers down my spine while I drifted off to sleep.

I woke startled a few hours later, the room dark except for one candle left flickering on the nightstand. My heart began to race; I was alone. I called out to Edward, but when he didn't answer, I turned on the light alarmed. If I didn't immediately recognize the hotel room and Edward's gold top hat on the dresser, I would have thought the last week was all a dream. On the pillow next to me, was a note:

_**I've gone downstairs. Be back shortly. **_

_**I love you more than words.**_

I lay there for the better part of an hour, trying to go back to sleep, but adrenaline was pumping through my body and I was terribly thirsty. Running in my mind were the scenes from our love making playing like a movie. It excited me terribly and I yearned to be close to Edward again. I brushed my teeth, dressed, and headed down stairs.

When I pressed the button to the elevator, I noticed small bruises had begun to appear on my forearms, so I pushed my sleeves down covering them. I checked in the mirrors for others and found only one small bruise on my shoulder. I also noticed that my nipples were really sore. Knowing Edward would be very upset when he saw the bruising, I racked my brain to find a way to keep them concealed from him. Any further intimacy would have to be in complete darkness.

When I stepped off the elevator, I instantly knew where to find him. The sweet notes of the piano floated through the lobby air, as only one person I knew could play a song that lovely. I stood at the door to the restaurant and watched as Edward's fingers flitted over the keys effortlessly.

Even with his back to me, he let me know that he sensed my presence when the music gradually changed to my lullaby. Crossing the restaurant, I headed to the bar and asked the bartender for a bottle of water. I sat down beside Edward on the piano bench and gently lay my head on his shoulder taking in his beautiful song and his sweet scent. He smiled at me, his beautiful, perfect white smile, kissing my forehead without looking away from the keys.

The dimly lit restaurant was just about empty except for an older couple at a table, a very inebriated man slumped over at the bar and a young couple making out in the far back corner. And then I spotted Carlisle and Esme leaning toward each other holding hands at a table on the other side of the room. Esme smiled at me and Carlisle motioned for me to join them.

I sat at their table, feeling very uncomfortable because I knew they were aware of our earlier escapades. Esme reached over and touched my hand lightly with hers.

"You have made him so happy, Bella", she beamed. "He's playing again."

She noticed my confused expression and stated, "Edward hasn't touched the piano since we left Forks. He denied himself any kind of pleasure as punishment for your pain, and refused to engage in anything that reminded him of you."

I turned to look at him, still playing the beautiful melody. How sad, I thought as I blinked back tears forming in my eyes.

" I didn't know that."

" Bella, our whole family went through a very difficult time when we left. We knew that if one human

could make this much impact on our family in the six months that we had known you, you were obviously very, very special. You are Edward's entire world. And we want you to know that we consider you part of our family. We are all so happy that you are back in his life, in all of our lives." The sincerity in Carlisle's kind words stunned me.

Esme smiled and said, "I just wish you were going to be living closer to us. But just wait until you see your house! Edward showed us pictures and I have some wonderful ideas about decorating, if you don't mind my input."

"House?" I asked completely confused. The music had faded off and Edward quickly strode over to the table sitting down next to me. The expression on Edward's face was disapproving and Esme looked back apologetically knowing she had revealed too much.

"House?" I repeated to Edward.

He took my hand and said, " Yes, I bought a house... for us. I grew tired of hanging out in my car while I _visited_ you at school."

"So you bought a house?", I clarified.

"Yes, with the intent of us living there. Bella, I never gave up hope for us. I saw the house for sale and I instantly thought of you. You once showed me a picture of a Christmas when you were small. You were standing with this little blue doll house and the expression on your face was pure joy. This house looks just like your doll house. I had to have it for you. Unless of course, you prefer the dorms..." He squeezed my hand.

Oddly enough I knew the exact house he spoke of. A few blocks from campus in a quaint tree lined neighborhood was an adorable slate blue Victorian. Wrapped around the house was a porch with a swing and a white picket fence surrounded the large property. I drove past it once thinking it was exactly like the doll house Charlie built for me when I was four.

"I don't even know what to say. I know that house...I love that house, Edward." The tears that I blinked back earlier, came down full force. He kissed my cheek and wiped my warm tears with a cocktail napkin from the table.

As if sensing I hadn't had enough emotion for one evening, Carlisle looked at Esme and nodded at her giving her a cue to reach into her purse. Esme took a small black velvet bag out of her purse and handed it to Carlisle. He opened the drawstrings on the pouch, emptying out a tiny silver ring into his palm. The tiny face was oval, with a lion standing up on its hind legs. It was the Cullen family crest. They all had a piece of jewelry with the emblem on it. Alice and Rosalie had necklaces, the boys had leather cuff bracelets, Carlisle had a large manly ring and Esme had an intricate bracelet.

"We had this made for you into a ring because we know you don't really wear jewelry. We want you to know that you are a Cullen as far as we are concerned."

I was speechless. This was an incredible gesture from vampires, welcoming me, a simple human into their close knit family. I was touched beyond words. I slipped the ring on to my left ring finger, and Edward stopped me.

"The other hand love, this finger is reserved", he smiled and guided the ring on my right hand. The tears that Edward wiped away came rolling down my cheeks again and I sighed, overwhelmed at the entire night. They made small talk as I composed my self and drank almost the entire bottle of water in front of me.

Carlisle said, "So you will be returning to school in a few weeks then, Bella?"

"Um, no. I'm actually taking a semester off for some R&R." I answered in a nasally voice from crying.

"Actually", Edward interrupted, " I was thinking we could do dome traveling. Six months around Europe is a better education than any history class."

"Oh, what a wonderful idea!" Esme sang.

"Just be sure to make your stay in Italy brief. We have acquaintances there that would find your courtship, somewhat _troublesome_." He glared at Edward and Edward nodded.

" Europe?" I asked smiling and shaking my head in disbelief. He leaned over and gently pinched my arm. "Nope, not dreaming." I said quietly.

Carlisle told us that they would all be checking out in the morning and Esme made sure that we would come see them at their home before we left for Forks. I thanked them both, kissing and hugging them before we went back upstairs. It was nearly five in the morning and I was exhausted and overwhelmed by the entire night.

It completely amazed me, how in one week, my life had gone from total crap to this glorious existence. I couldn't imagine feeling happier than this, at this very moment, with Edward by my side and my immediate future looking so incredibly wonderful. It almost made me wary to sleep again fearing that I would wake up and it would indeed, be a dream. But Edward assured me, it was not, and he pinched my tush every so often reminding me that I was awake and alive and blissfully happy.

**HOPED YOU LIKED IT!!!!**


	13. Chapter 15& 16

**Chapter 15**

"Good morning, love." He whispered as he gave me a slight hug.

"Hi." I smiled back. I woke to Edwards sweet kisses on my bare shoulder and his freezing hardness at my back. I had fallen asleep in Edwards arms, in nothing but underwear, at his request. My arms stroked his thighs and his hands trailed gently up to my breasts. We were about to make love again, when the sound of a knock on the door spoiled our moment.

I quickly rushed into the bathroom turning on the shower, as Edward rose to answer the door. It was Emmett, returning my camera and checking that we would be up to say goodbye to them at checkout time. Later, Edward and I agreed that we thought he was sent by the others to check if I was still alive and find out the juicy details to our evening.

Edward jumped in the shower after me and we quickly dressed. After I consumed the pancakes and orange juice from the room service tray that Edward thoughtfully ordered, we headed down stairs to the lobby of the hotel to say goodbye.

Emmet and Jasper were loading suitcases and garment bags into the trunk of Rosalie's car, while the girls sat inside. I leaned into the window and chatted with them about the party and promised Alice copies of all the pictures. I figured Alice didn't ask me about my night with Edward, because she didn't want to intrude and after all, it was her brother.

Rosalie winked at me, an unspoken truce among us.

Edward shook hands with his brothers while they whispered and patted his back in what I assume was a congratulatory gesture for last night. I blushed, knowing that Edward was about as comfortable as I was discussing the subject.

Edward and I waved good bye and crossed the street toward the shops in town. He mentioned that he wanted to buy him self a little gift, and I wanted to stop for some travel brochures. When we spotted the travel agency, he ducked in grabbing as many booklets on European destinations as were available.

We headed downtown holding hands and smiling at the friendly people that passed by wishing us a Happy New Year. Edward paused in front of a store front and held the door open for me. As I stepped inside the shop I turned to look at him, his face covered in a huge grin.

On shiny satin hangers hung frilly little underpants sets, lacy nightgowns and long delicate sheer robes.

"Lingerie?" I questioned with a grimace on my face.

Edward shrugged his shoulders innocently. " I loved those panties you wore last night...so deliciously provocative." He kissed my lips and I began to protest but a saleslady strode to our side interrupting me.

He told her he wanted something red and something long and silky. Her eyes scanned my body confirming my size and they walked off together, as if I wasn't even there. Hanging in front of me was a pink sheer baby doll set trimmed in feathers that I touched and immediately let go of. Ewww, some of these things were ridiculous. Then I spotted a long black sheer nightgown trimmed in delicate lace with a matching robe and held it up to me. I pictured Edwards hands sliding over the satin as he ….Oh, I had to have it.

Edward came back over to my side and said, "Yes, definitely this one", when he saw what I was holding. He picked up a tiny lavender lace set with boy shorts and a cleavage revealing camisole, and looked at me hopefully.

"It's your fantasy", I said. "They're just going to end up on the floor, so pick whatever you want."

He found a bustier attached to some red contraption that was supposed to hook onto thigh high stockings. I looked at him and scowled. "Really, Edward? I am going to give myself a concussion getting into that." He nodded in agreement and put it back on the rack.

Then he lifted a long white silk gown trimmed in tiny pearls off the rack and stared at it for a moment.

"It's beautiful, " I said as I touched the exquisite lace trim on the bodice. The saleslady held up the matching robe and stated, "It's a penior set. For the Honeymoon night."

He smiled at her and said, "We will take this as well." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

We walked over to a table with lotions and gels and he picked up a little bottle that read, '_Warming lubricant._' He raised his eyebrows and I winked and said, " Get two of those."

Slipping her a credit card, Edward paid for our purchases, ten sets in all, and the lady handed him two large pink shopping bags.

We walked along back toward the hotel, and he steered me into a Starbucks when he felt me shiver. After my caramel macchiato was ready, we sat at a table and thumbed through the brochures, noting what he was anxious to see again. He said the Eiffel Tower was a must see for me but to keep in mind that it was terribly crowded and somewhat overrated. He preferred to visit the sites that didn't get as much attention, as he had already seen the Sistine Chapel, Buckingham Palace, and the Acropolis in Greece several times. But since I had not ever been out of the states, we agreed I would pick my favorite destinations and then we would find more remote ones to see as well. After all, six months was a long time.

Once we got back to the hotel room, I opened the bags and carefully lay everything out on the bed, except the long white gown.

"Pick one." I demanded motioning toward the choices on the bed.

"Hmmm...let's see that one." He pointed at the lavender lace boy short set. I picked it up and went to change in the bathroom.

Edward was still sitting in the big arm chair fully clothed reading one of the thicker travel brochures. I strode out into the room, and stood with my hands on my hips.

"Why aren't you naked? " I asked.

Startled, he looked up at me and replied, "I wasn't aware that I was supposed to be. I assumed you were just trying it on, not taking it off."

"OK, then I'll change." I started toward the bathroom.

"Bella...come here please", he motioned with his finger.

I skipped over to the chair and he put his large hands to my waist running his thumbs under the dainty lace edge of the panties.

"Mmmm, this color suits you.", he said admiring the low cut top that made my chest look a size bigger than it actually was. I put my arms around his neck and rested my knee on the chair in between his thighs forcing my new found cleavage in his face. He took a deep breath, leaned forward and licked just above the lace covering my left breast. His tongue flitted down into the top, finding my extra sensitive nipple. He gently pulled the stretchy fabric away, so that the entire breast was revealed and sucked on the sore, hardened nipple causing me to instantly become wet between my legs.

My insides burned for him, for his cool iciness to be inside of me. Leaning down, I unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down as he lifted his hips to help. I pulled his thin gray sweater off his body and ran my hands down his biceps over the cold hard muscles and paused at his wrists. Remembering the bruises on my forearms I quickly turned them over, but Edward scowled.

" Bella, I saw them this morning. I have to say the damage is considerably less than I expected." He lifted my arms and kissed the bruises. Then, with his hands traveling up to my shoulders, he pulled the tiny strap off one shoulder and then the other, kissing each shoulder as they fell. He drew tiny circles on my abdomen with his fingers then slowly lifted the top off of me.

" Turn around", he ordered. I stood back up, turned around and he slid both hands up the backs of my thighs stopping on the cheeks of my rear. He gave them a gentle squeeze, and pulled the lacy underpants just down to the tops of my thighs exposing my bare rear end. _This feels really naughty, _I thought as I let out a little approving sigh.

"Mmmmm, I want to bite you", he said pinching the cheek playfully.

"So what are you waiting for?" I demanded.

Sometimes I surprised myself. I never thought of myself as the quiet librarian- during- the -day- turned -dominatrix- by -night kind of girl, but it seemed that I was much more aggressive in the bedroom than I expected. Or than Edward expected for that mater. Sex had set free my inner mountain lion.

"Oh, you want to play rough, do you?" Edward asked coyly, yanking the underwear down to my knees. His aggressiveness sent waves of arousal through my center and I sighed again. I felt him shimmy his underwear off, and his hands gripped my hips. He pulled me backward, so that I was sitting on his lap. I could feel his cold erection underneath me waiting to enter into my warmth. He massaged my breasts with his hands, slightly rougher than he had done before. His fingers pinched the nipples between his thumb and forefinger making circles with his thumbs. I threw my head back so it was on his shoulder and he roughly kissed my jaw.

"Oh, Edward" I moaned.

"Sit on your knees", he whispered and I obeyed slowly folding my legs underneath me at either side of his thighs. He lifted my hips up, and angled himself into me. He entered slowly, bringing me down to the bottom touching his thighs and then slowly back up again. I gripped my fingers around the arms of the chair, rising and falling in and out of him. The motion came in slow, rhythmic waves that eventually grew into faster, pulsating strides. I squealed with delight as his finger found my clitoris and rubbed furiously as I slid up and down the length of him.

" Edward, oh Edward!" I was screaming, gripping the arms of the chair until, my knuckles were white. _Here it comes_, I thought...teeth numbing, losing my vision, hyperventilating pleasure. I was at the top of a roller coaster ready to drop down a steep slope. My insides convulsed and then exploded.

"Oh God! " He moaned, pumping me faster into him. He shuddered and groaned completing his orgasm.

And then the movement gradually slowed to a stop, the two of us panting as I attempted to slow my breathing down. He held me and pressed his cold cheek to my bare back.

" Wow...wow", was all he could manage to get out.

"Mmmm, that was fun." I teased making reference to his remark last evening.

"Glad I am here to amuse you, Ms. Swan." he laughed pulling himself out of me.

I turned and sat in his lap, kissing his lips and stroking his cheek affectionately.

" Well, now I understand the purpose of lingerie." I giggled.

" Me too" he kidded. "Hey, it's nearly six. Are you hungry?"

"Starving." I responded enthusiastically.

We dressed for dinner and went down to the hotel restaurant. I ordered sushi, my most recently discovered delicacy, and Edward watched me incredulously as I dipped the little rolls full of raw fish into the soy sauce plate.

"How can you eat that? " he asked disbelievingly.

"Seriously?" I asked looking up at him. " This from a man who drinks raw elk blood as an alternative to... ", my hand motioned to my neck.

"Good point." He laughed pushing his fork around in his plate. My phone vibrated in my purse and I scowled when I saw that it was Jacob again. Jacob left a message earlier that I actually had to hold the phone away from my ear to listen to. Most of it I couldn't even understand, but from what I could make out went as follows:

"Bella,...lots of profanity.....bloodsucker....leach....more profanity...can't believe...profanity.....profanity...call me back....profanity....bye."

It was safe to assume Charlie let the cat out of the bag, or the vampire out of the coffin, if you will. Mental note to take my hat back from him as punishment.

Noticing my discomfort, Edward asked curiously, " Someone you don't wish to speak with?"

I hadn't bothered to explain further to Edward about mine and Jacob's relationship. " Oh, it's just Jacob. We've been missing each other's calls and I think he's growing concerned about me."

"Why, doesn't he know where you are?" Edwards eye brows pinched together questioningly.

" Uh, no. I asked Charlie not to tell him. I thought we should have this conversation when I got home. I didn't want to ruin my trip." I explained, looking down at my plate.

"Ahhh, so I gather he doesn't approve of me."

_Yeah, that's an understatement,_ I thought.

"You have to understand that when you left...Jacob was the only thing that held me together. He was an incredible friend to me and I owe him a lot, including my sanity."

"He's in love with you", Edward scowled.

"No, I don't think so, he has a girlfriend." I hoped he believed that.

"Mmmm, any boy that is that is going to be angry that you are happy, doesn't want you to be happy without him. Trust me Bella, after a lifetime of hearing people's thoughts, I have a pretty good grasp of human nature."

"Well, either way, he cares about me, and you hurt me, so he isn't going to take lightly to our relationship." I said defensively.

"Bella, is it really any of his business?" Edward sneered, clearly annoyed.

"No, not really. Can we please drop it now? I don't want to ruin the evening." The last thing I wanted to think of was how much this would hurt Jacob. I knew he still had feelings for me, but disappearing with Edward without explanation, and then avoiding his calls was a huge slap in the face to him.

In effort to change the subject, I asked, " Hey, you said at the house that you started doing human things to feel connected to me. You learned to cook obviously, but what else did you do?"

"Well, Emmett and I had daily battles with Guitar Hero, and Esme suggested that I spend my time a bit more constructively, so I learned how to play the guitar."

"Really? Are you as good as you are at the piano?"

"I'm no Jimi Hendrix, but I can strum a tune."

"Will you play for me?" I asked hopefully.

"If you like. I wrote a song for you, but it's sad, so you may not want to hear it."

"Of course I want to hear it."

The waiter brought us dessert menus. A light bulb popped on in my head and I asked the waiter for a brownie sundae to go. Edward raised one eyebrow at me and I smiled a silly little grin.

Tonight, dessert would be eaten upstairs.

**Chapter 16**

I set the take out container with my brownie sundae on the nightstand and perched myself on the edge of the bed. Edward skulked around the room eying me, having an inkling as to what I was going to do with the chocolate smothered ice cream, but quite not positive.

There was a movie I had watched late one night on cable where the main characters had sex a lot. Sex in the rain, and foreplay with food. It was completely erotic and I thought it might be a fun way to keep things interesting. When I asked him to take off his clothes and sit in the chair he shook his head in protest.

"I know what you are planning and I'm not having it." He said folding his arms across his chest obstinately.

"Oh, come on, where's your sense of adventure?" I teased him by holding open the two pieces of fabric that made up the slit in my dress. I revealed a thigh, which was meant to entice him, only in true Bella Swan style I lost my balance on the four inch high shoe (thanks Alice) and fell on the floor, hitting my head on the nightstand.

"_That_ was sexy." Edward laughed as he extended a hand to help me up.

"OK, now I'm injured. The least you could do is humor me." I rubbed my head where a bump began to form underneath my hair. He rolled his eyes and plopped down in the chair sighing and shaking his head in defeat.

"Fine. If you weren't so beautiful and so endearingly clumsy, you wouldn't be getting away with this."

"What makes you think you won't enjoy it?"

"Because, since I don't eat brownie sundaes, and you do, I know somehow it is going to end up on me and there will be stickiness and goo...." His voice trailed off, and it occurred to me that Edward sometimes behaved like a child when he didn't get his way.

"Fine then, forget it." I slipped off my black strapless dress, slunk down to the floor in my new satin bra and panties and pulled the ice cream container into my lap. Paying no mind to him, I stuck my finger into the whipped cream, swirling it around and then slowly put it to my lips. I took the spoon full of melted ice cream and drew it up to my mouth, turning the spoon on its back so I could stick my tongue in the dip of the metal. Edward sighed in the chair.

Looking up at him through my dark lashes, I said, "Mmmm this is really good," then took another spoon full of ice cream. It had melted so much, that it dripped onto the swell of my breast.

"Oops." I ran my middle finger over the mess and licked it. Now, where this all came from is anyone's guess. Not being one to have even the most minuscule talent for flirting, this seemed to be working out well, as Edward shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He had not taken his eyes off of me since I took off the dress. He slowly unbuttoned his pale blue shirt and kicked off his shoes while I continued to enjoy my sundae.

"Can I try that?" he asked quietly.

"Nope." I put another spoonful into my mouth, licking the spoon with more sensuality that I thought I had in me. _Well what do you know?_ I thought. _He's like putty in my hands._

"Please?"

I was only sitting a few feet away from him, so I sat up and walked over to his chair on my knees. Wedging myself in between his legs, I set the sundae container on the chair between his legs. I opened the button on his pants and then the zipper, and then removed his open shirt. He was staring at me waiting for my next move, when I stuck my finger in the fudge sauce and swirled it around his nipples. He sighed and gripped his hands on the arms of the chair.

Handing him the container, I sat in his lap and licked off the sauce from one nipple, then the other, while he closed his eyes and and let out a soft moan. Putting my fingers in the chocolate again, I traced his lips with the sauce. He stuck his tongue out, licking the sauce off and muttered a quiet "Yuck." Then his tongue flitted out again and I met it with my own, licking the rest of the chocolate off his lips.

Suddenly, and not really knowing what came over me, I slid off his lap onto the floor and shimmied off his pants while he lifted his hips to help. Reaching for the container, I set it down beside me on the carpet and stuck my fingers in again slowly scooping up whipped cream. I drew my finger up his hardened length leaving a trail of sweetness behind. Then drew in a breath and leaned over licking the whipped cream off slowly. His hands, placed on the arms of the chair, balled into fists. It filled me with such satisfaction that I was able to have this effect on him.

"No Bella, don't," he said quietly.

"Why not?" I asked, not waiting for an answer as I ran my tongue down the shaft again. He let out a moan again, louder this time balling his fists harder.

"Because it's ...degrading..." His words were breathless as he clearly enjoying my licking. Ignoring him, I cupped my hand around his sticky length and slid down to the bottom, slowly drawing my hand to the top as I squeezed. Then I leaned over again, and took him into my mouth.

"Aaahhh," he groaned almost as if in pain. He was conflicted. His gentlemanly nature told him this was not what he wanted me to do, but his animal instincts couldn't fight off the pleasure. I continued just to see which would win. My mouth slid up and down the length, licking the bulbous top as I reached the peak. He was moaning hard now, indicating the animal in him had definitely won the fight. I gripped my fingers around him and drew them up and down with my mouth on him.

This was a first for me, but I had heard friends talk about it enough that I picked up pointers along the way. Even Jessica back in high school, revealed that Mike liked his testicles squeezed when she gave him oral sex. That was way too much information for Angela and I at the time, but now came in handy.

I continued to make my way up and down him, both with hand and mouth. Edward moaned deeply without letting his fists relax, his whole body stiffening. I ran my free hand up his inner thigh and down again, caressing the deep v that dipped into his hip bones. The palm of my hand cupped underneath his testicles, and squeezed gently, causing Edward to jerk forward slightly. I looked up at him watching his pained expression, head leaning back against the chair, eyes closed, mouth pressed into a tight line.

_Should I stop? Is this making him so uncomfortable that he can't even enjoy it?_

"Edward, relax," I whispered. He was so sexy I could hardly bear to look at him any longer I felt his body relax slightly while his hand knotted in my hair and he whispered, "Don't stop."

My hand and mouth continued to pleasure him, faster and with more urgency than before. The whole time I was hoping my technique was correct, trying not to scrape my teeth on him and remembering what I has read in Cosmo.

A long moan and sort of a pained grunt left his mouth as he fisted the back of my hair. He whispered, "Bellaaaaa, oh Bellaaaaa...."

When his body convulsed slightly and he released into my mouth, I gently pulled away from him. It was thick, almost oily and very sweet like maple syrup. I casually leaned over and spit it into the sundae trying to be as ladylike as possible in this situation.

Edward looked at me with a shameful expression, his mouth open and his amber eyes sparkling underneath his long and feathery eyelashes.

"Didn't you like that?" I asked, sitting back in his lap. I touched his cheek, feeling badly that I had upset him.

"Oh yes, very very much," he spoke quietly. "But you shouldn't have done that. Women who give oral sex are considered... impure." He kissed my lips softly.

"Edward, it's 2008, not 1908. We love each other, right, so why shouldn't I give you pleasure? Do you really think I am impure for doing that?"

"No, of course not, but...."

"So what's the problem? You did it to me last night." I ran my hands down his chest and back up again running my fingertips gently over his nipple.

"Yes, but that's different. I am a man." The back of Edward's hand grazed the top of my breast.

"Oh, a double standard, I see," I said laughing. "I never realized that your views were so archaic. So what, you expect me to be barefoot and pregnant then?" This kind of angered me, but it really wasn't such a surprise considering he was born in 1901.

"I only wish, Bella. You know I am old fashioned at heart. But I can't make you pregnant, so I'll just have to settle for barefoot and naked." He unsnapped the clasp of my bra and took my nipple into his mouth trying to ease the tension building in the conversation.

"So it would bother you if I was the one in control then?" I asked curiously while my hands grabbed his hair, gently pushing his head into my breasts.

"I don't know, I haven't thought about it." His tongue darted out as he licked my nipples in cool deliberate circles.

"Well, let's think about it. Would you be bothered if I got a job?" My hand dropped down to caress his thigh.

"No, don't be ridiculous. You can do whatever you want. However, we don't need the money, so I sort of prefer that you didn't work, so we could have time for more _important_ things." With widened eyes, his fingertips grazed my inner thigh, slowly finding my wet center.

"Oh, so you just... want to... spend our days.... having sex.... is that it?" The words escaped my mouth in breathless chunks as his fingers slid in and out of me slowly.

"Mmm Hum."

I moaned as his fingers flitted upward rubbing the bundle of nerves in smooth circles. After a few minutes, I shifted my body so that my legs came around and straddled his thighs. He was still rubbing my center, when I grasped the tip of his hardened length and rose my hips to let him enter me. His icy cold hardness slid into my warmth, deeper and deeper filing me until it could go no farther.

I rose up to my knees and then back down slowly, squeezing my insides letting him feel every inch of me. He gasped at the pleasure and gripped his large icy hands around my hips, aiding me in the motion. He kissed my breasts eagerly nipping at them and smiling when he sensed my pleasurable moans.

"Oh, you feel so good, Bella." His words were almost inaudible. I knew dirty talk was not something Edward would ever feel comfortable with as I couldn't ever imagine myself screaming , _Yeah baby do it harder! _or something equally embarrassing as that. So I settled for a continuation of our previous discussion.

"Does this make you happy Edward? Do you like it when I am in control?" My movements were slow deliberate strides up and down and then occasionally I would shift my hips forward and rock gently into his pelvis. His mouth moved from my breasts to my lips and then to the hollow at the base of my throat.

"Yes." He looked up at me sheepishly through dark lashes.

With his hands leading my movements, we gradually sped up the grinding motion until I was balling my own fists in anticipation of the pleasure. My breathing was fast and choppy as my pulse quickened and the burning heat in my core seared through my skin. Our moans meshed together as our fingers intertwined.

"Bella..please, please...I am going to...." he whispered, cluing me into his oncoming orgasm without being able to say the words. My body quivered, the electricity zapping through my skin from my hair to my toenails. I felt his grip tighten on my hip and he growled as he released into me squeezing my hand.

I let my heartbeat slow back to normal as I collapsed into his collarbone kissing his neck as his arms wrapped around me. We were quiet for a while when he spoke suddenly.

"Do you think it can get better than this?" he asked kissing my lips.

Lifting up my head from his shoulder I responded confused, "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Well, we have been together three times, and each time it is more pleasurable, more erotic. So much that sometimes I think I won't be able to handle the intensity. Is it possible that it will continue to become more.... exquisite?"

"I'm not sure, but I know what you mean. It gets to be so much that I think I might have to stop but I can't because I want more. It's so conflicting...like pleasure and pain all at once."

"I....I liked this tonight," he admitted. "It was quite liberating not knowing what was going to happen."

"Well, you know me, always living on the edge. Never know what's gonna happen with Bella around", I teased. "You don't always have to be in control, Edward. If you relax and let things just flow, you might find that you like it."

He snickered and kissed my lips. "I'll try to relax more often. I do love you so."

"I know you do. But I love you more."

"Your so silly. As if that was even possible."

Rolling my eyes I slipped off of his lap and into bed, where I would spend our last night of our first vacation together in Edward's arms.

******

He tossed our luggage into the back seats of the truck and said, "I'll be right back."

Hopping into the passenger seat, I pulled my camera out of my purse to look through the pictures from the party. Most of them were hilarious, the boys dancing and hamming it up for the camera, Alice doing her sparkly macarena. There was a great shot of all of us wearing our party hats, with everyone smiling perfect white genuinely happy grins, even Rosalie. I decided I would have that one enlarged and framed for Esme.

Two of the photos surprised me, because I don't even remember them being taken. They were of Edward and I dancing, one full length, and the other a close up head shot. The full length one was taken when we were slow dancing. Our expressions were the same, looking into each other's eyes as if we could see into one another's soul. The close up was of Edward and I laughing with each other. Then, my favorite was the one Esme took at midnight of us kissing.

It made me terribly sad thinking about how much time was wasted crying when we could have been laughing. I loved these photos mostly for the reason that they captured a moment in time that we would never get back, one that would be treasured and remembered as quite possibly one of the best nights of our lives, particularly for Edward and I.

Looking at the pictures gave me a sense of warmth, of family that I had never really known before. Being an only child has its rewards and of course, its drawbacks. But I wouldn't trade anything now for the brothers and sisters I had gained through Edward.

Snapping me out of my reverie was the sight of Edward gliding through the front doors of the hotel carrying a huge white armchair. _Our chair._ I watched in disbelief, as he loaded it into the trunk of the SUV. As he jumped into the driver's seat he smiled and said, "All set?"

"What did you do?" I asked laughing, my eyes wide.

"I thought you would want a souvenir." His devious smile stretched from ear to ear. He pulled out of the circular drive, onto the main road.

"Does the hotel know you took this?"

"Yes, I'm a vampire, silly, not a thief. They made me pay dearly for it. The housekeeper noticed the chocolate stain and apparently contacted the hotel manager. I figured if I had to pay for the damages, than I might as well just buy the chair. However, the hotel has a strict 'no purchasing furniture after guests have sex on it even if it is stained with chocolate sauce' policy. The manager was adamant about it."

"And you convinced her?" I asked. "How?"

Edward turned to me with a smug smile across his face.

"_I dazzled her_. I have been practicing, and you know, it comes in very handy." He beamed proudly.

"Where will we put it?" I wondered, knowing it would be uncomfortable having this chair sit in Charlie's living room after we defiled it as we did.

"Well, once the stain is cleaned up, I was thinking it would be a nice piece to add to our new house."

"Oh, yeah, about that. So, we are going to Europe for... six months, did you say? And then when we get back, we will move into our house?" I asked making sure I had it straight.

"Of course, this is only if you want to. I don't want to make any decisions for you Bella. If you want to stay in the dorms, I understand, but I will be very lonely living by myself in our little blue house. If you like I can take some classes as well, you know, to keep you company. I know they have a nice law program there," he added reaching for my hand. "But it's your choice, I am only offering options."

"I am thrilled beyond words to go to Europe! And I do_ not _want to stay in the dorms. It's a lot to take in Edward, but truthfully, I don't care where I go or what I do as long as I am with you." I meant every word.

Leaning in to kiss me he said, "I am so glad you feel that way."


	14. Chapter 17 &18 Happy Endings

**Chapter 17**

A short drive later, we turned into an upscale neighborhood with tremendous wooded properties, and then into a long stone driveway. The brick faced home was massive, with two smaller structures on either side; a garage and a guest house, I assumed. Esme met us at the door graciously welcoming us in.

Edward gave me a tour of the mini mansion, pointing out the various rooms including Alice and Jasper's, though they no longer lived there. This home was so different than the white mansion beside the river in Forks. This was brand new, the smell of fresh paint almost lingering in the air. The walls were calming tones of neutral tans and taupes and all of the furniture was so new it looked as if right of a showroom.

Though I knew full well that the Cullens relocated every five or six years and they had done so for almost a century, looking at this filled me with a twinge of anger. _How dare they move on without me? How could they just have gone up and resumed their lives as if I had never been in it?_ It was irrational, and quite self centered yes, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

When I asked Edward about his room, he led me down a narrow staircase to a door at the kitchen and then outside to the guest house. There was a huge fireplace in the center of the room and fifteen foot ceilings above us, framed by large windows and skylights that let streaming beams of light dance across the pale wood floor. The guest house was almost twice the size of Charlie's house.

The place was scarcely furnished, with only a rich brown suede couch and a flat screen television in the living room, and a small dining room table off to the side. Edward's piano was angled toward the corner of the large living room, its shiny black finish dusty and clearly untouched. The smaller of the two bedrooms was completely empty. I peeked in Edward's bedroom and marveled at the cherry wood furniture and king sized bed covered in pale blue linens. It looked as if the room had been staged, the bed never slept in, the drawers in the furniture never opened. A picture of us taken at the prom sat in a silver frame on the nightstand. In the corner of the room an acoustic guitar leaned against the wall.

Edward came up from behind suddenly startling me as his arms encircled my waist. It was so strange to know that this is where he lived now, so different from his home in Forks, so foreign. It was as if I suddenly knew nothing about him, as if the last week had been erased and I had never even known him before. Two years worth of his life had gone by, and I was not a physical part of it. It frightened and saddened me terribly, and an overwhelming sense of emotion came over me.

"Something wrong, love?" He whispered into my ear.

"I just...sort of feel like I hardly know you now...in this life you have made here. You are a different person in so many ways." I wiped a tear from my face.

"Bella, I am different in some ways, yes. But so are you. We all have to change and grow or we would die of boredom, I suppose. Just because I live somewhere different, doesn't mean that who I am is different. You went away to college, you lived on your own. You have become stronger, more mature, more independent, but inside you are still my clumsy stubborn girl." He touched his fingertips softly to my cheek. His words were slightly comforting if not true.

"You're right, I guess." I admitted quietly.

"Just know that all the while I was living here," he motioned toward the room, "you were always here." His long fingers touched his heart.

I crushed my face into his chest and sobbed quietly, not immediately knowing why I was so irrationally upset. He stroked my back, kissing my forehead. I felt so badly for this meltdown, because I couldn't even put it into words why I felt so sad.

Then it hit me. Suddenly the thoughts that once brought me to my knees in the woods so long ago, the emptiness of his voice, and the blank expression of his detached gaze caught hold of me and refused to let go. Despite all of the happiness that was felt and promises that had been made over the last eight days, my mind would not allow me to focus on anything else, as if it were closing a protective shell over me. The fear that he would leave again was incapacitating. I knew I would not be able to bear it, and it would be the end for me if I had to say good bye once again.

"I need some air," I gasped through tears, breaking free from his hold and headed out the door into the garden that would grow thick with roses come spring. My arms wrapped around my body tightly as if to hold my ribs together. Sitting down on the icy cold wrought iron bench, I grew disgusted with myself and my ridiculous reactions. I despised the feeling of falling apart, of being a weak...human.

He followed me out, but stood off to the side leaning against the house, wanting to give me space, and trying to figure out why I was suddenly so distraught. I drew in a deep breath and it hurt terribly, making my lungs feel like they could burst into a million pieces. I felt my hands shaking and a wave of nausea wash over me. The deep breaths I took slowly made the nausea dissipate, but the tears continued to stream down, salty and warm. My throat felt as if had closed shut leaving only a pinhole to let the air in and out. I was having a panic attack. It was not the first time, though. I used to have them all the time after Edward left, and this was my body's way of remembering the trauma.

He approached slowly and sat down next to me touching my knee lightly. He was silent for some time before he quietly asked, "Are you having second thoughts about... us?"

I shot my head up at him looking into his sad butterscotch eyes.

"Oh, Edward no! Never! Just the opposite. I need to know right now, if _you_ are. If you are absolutely certain about us. I have these memories of when you left me in the woods and the numbness that never went away. You know, a few weeks after you left I went back onto the trail and screamed for you. I just screamed and screamed your name and prayed you could hear me or sense that I was calling you. But you didn't come back and..." I shook my head trying to chase away the images. Edward sighed next to me and brought his hand to his mouth.

"Edward, I feel so... pathetic right now, but I am not strong enough to have my heart broken again, I can't bear it if you ..."

"If I leave again?" He whispered. The expression on his face grew from saddened to angry. He shook his head and through gritted teeth said, " Look at what I have done to you. I took away your faith in me, your trust. You are so damaged, so scared right now. I loathe myself for this Bella, I shouldn't be allowed back into your life for this..." His voice trailed off as if he couldn't bear to say anymore. I could feel his pain, see it plainly on his face, the torment and the anguish that he was enduring. I knew it well, as I had been through it myself.

Reaching out, Edward turned my face toward his as his fingertips grazed over my dampened cheek.

"I will never, ever leave you Bella, I promise you that. Even if it should become dangerous for me to be with you I will not go, do you understand? I will never hurt you again, never. You are my life, my_ whole_ life, and there is nothing that will change that." His reassuring words eased the doubt, but it was when I looked in his eyes, I saw the tiniest formation of a tear. Bringing my finger to the moisture, I drew a line on the shadow under his eye and wiped the tear on the tip of his nose. His fingers trailed along my cheekbones, as mine cupped under his chin. Silently we touched each other's faces, meshing our fingers in our tears shed out of love.

Edward carried me back into the guest house and placed me on the bed, lying down next to me. His hands came up to my face and wiped the last of the tears away as he tenderly kissed my lips. His eyes met mine and he whispered, "I love you, Bella, so so much." I simply nodded my head in agreement, kissing him back with all the love I had in me.

Edward's shoes thumped as they hit the floor, and mine did the same as I pushed them off one by one, disturbing the silence in the room. His arms embraced my shaking body and held me tightly against his chest comforting and easing my fears. The need, the desire to be with him was unimaginable. It was like a magnet was pulling on me to be near him, to have him inside of me.

Once our clothes were stripped off, Edward lay next to me naked, our bodies tangled in a web of hot and cold. His lips met mine and they moved together, parting and closing like the flow of the tide. As he entered me, our fingers intertwined and our eyes never closed or left sight of one another's gaze. We were silent except for the occasional whispered, "I love you."

We made love that afternoon, really made love. Every one of Edward's movements in me was like a security blanket. Each of his gentle caresses and sweet kisses giving me the solidarity that I so desperately needed. He touched my face and we twined our fingers together while never gazing away from one another's eyes. Our bodies fit together like the last two puzzle pieces that had been lost from the rest of the picture and finally were found to complete it. This love making was not for pleasure or joy, it was what connected us, what bound us together.

After that day, doubt for Edward's love for me and fear that he would leave again never crossed my mind, the anguish of the past fading into the deepest darkest crevice of my memories, almost as if it never happened at all...almost. The pain, the emptiness, the longing...it was a part of who I was, the person I had become. I was stronger because he left me. I appreciated him more now that he was back in my life. I thought the whole time that I was such a weak person because I handled his leaving so badly, but Edward disagreed. He said I handled it so much better than he did, that at least I moved forward with my life unlike him, who remained stagnant in his pain.

We stayed with the Cullen's overnight, so that Edward could pack the rest of his clothes and say goodbye. He was saying good bye to his family, but also farewell to his old life and the sadness that came with being alone for so long. He had finally found the key to his happiness.

Back in Forks, Charlie surprisingly did not hit the roof when I told him I would be taking a semester off to go travel first class through Europe. He agreed with Edward about touring the continent being a better education than any class, but the subtle looks Edward and Charlie exchanged somehow made me think there was a silent agreement between them. Only later, would I find out the meaning behind it. Charlie said good bye to me, slightly tearful and hugged me as if he thought it might be the last time we would hug. He looked older to me, as if somehow he had aged and I was just noticing it.

The day before were were scheduled to leave for London, I packed whatever clothes and lingerie I had, including the mound of frilly dresses Alice had thoughtfully purchased for our trip, and Edward gave me the day free from him to go wrap up lose ends. I headed over to Jacob's, with dread and a very heavy heart.

When the week had passed over New Year's and he did not speak to me personally Jacob had harassed Charlie until Charlie gave into his questions about my whereabouts. At first, he said he was furious that I would let Edward just waltz his way back in my life again, but Charlie had tried to convince him that Edward truly loved me and that he had not seen me this happy in years.

Despite this, Jacob tried to persuade me to stay, with an indescribable look of pain behind his eyes. I told him that he needed to let me go. In every sense of the word, _really_ let me go. When he told me he loved me, I returned the sentiment, telling him that he was one of the very best parts of my life and that I would never forget his friendship and the laughter he had given me. But also that I was desperately in love with Edward and always had been. Saying that to him hurt both of us, but Jacob needed to hear it out loud for him to really comprehend. When he leaned down to hug me, he lifted my chin up and I knew then that he was going to kiss me. Wriggling out of his hold, I said goodbye and ran toward my car leaving him standing in the misty rain. I reversed out of his driveway and down the street as fast as I could manage before I could watch him cry over me. I had reassured myself that I had never led him on, that I was always honest about my romantic feelings, or lack of, for him. But I did not erase the guilt I felt for having him hurting because of me.

Edward had his new car order transferred to London where it was waiting for us when we arrived a week later. We planned to drive when we could, or fly or take the train when we couldn't. We figured that we would spend about a month in each country; England, France, Spain, Italy, Ireland, and Greece. It was important to time our traveling destinations correctly, because Edward couldn't go more than ten days without hunting, (and that was pushing it to the limit ) so we had to be sure we were located near some type of wilderness for him.

We did our best to accommodate both of our needs, being far enough from civilization to hunt animals, but close enough for me to eat real food. We would check into elite upscale hotels right after he had hunted, and then a few days later travel into the country where we would rent little cottages.

Once when our timing had been off Edward became desperately thirsty, his eyes black onyx. He found flock of sheep grazing on a countryside and came home humiliated that he had to hunt something so mangy as a sheep. I comforted him by letting him playfully attack me. I giggled at his subdued snarls and squealed as he pounced on me, which all led to amazing sex, of course.

His thirst was increased by our constant sexual activity. Our desire for each other was something I thought I would never get tired of. Edward showed huge amounts of restraint when it came to sex. He destroyed many headboards and several pieces of my lingerie holding back during our love making. He had to do nothing but look at me a certain way, and we were suddenly wrapping up or food to go or running out of a museum and rushing to the car before we would explode.

We did not go a day without making love, often engaging in sex several times a day, only pausing when I had my period, but even then we found other ways to satisfy our appetites. When it was sunny outside, we usually spent the day in bed, lying naked with each other. There were other times, where our accommodations were so out of the way, that no human was even remotely nearby. We would lay a blanket on the grass and Edward's skin would glitter brilliantly as we caressed each other under the warm sun.

Those were my favorite days. It wasn't the beautiful sights, the fascinating history or the amazing culture that held my interest. It was the closeness that ensued between us, a bond that could not be tampered with or broken. We learned everything there was to know about one another, keeping no secrets, desires or feelings hidden. It was amazing to be so emotionally raw and honest.

Edward shared what vague memories he had of his childhood and I recalled the fresher ones of mine. He listened, fascinated by my every word, just happy to feel like he was even more connected to me. I felt the same. He also shared his fascinating history of the events that occurred over the last ninety years: The Great Depression, World war II, meeting Elvis Presley and the Beatles, Jasper and Alice's Hippie days, and of course the nineteen eighties. Apparently Emmett went through a gold chain wearing, Camaro driving, freestyle music listening phase, whereas Rosalie wore her hair big and teased, with a lace glove on one hand. The stories he told were hysterical, sweet and sometimes heart breaking.

When we did go sightseeing, I never went anywhere without my camera, taking thousands of shots of landscapes, tourist sights and pictures of Edward and I together. Once every few weeks, we loaded them onto his laptop and sent them to our families. Edward bought a thick album in one of the shops and we had several of our favorite pictures printed out.

While in Italy, eleven weeks into our trip, Edward planned an afternoon picnic for us. It was warm and overcast and we lay our blanket in a gorgeous meadow, that was reminiscent of the one in Forks. I ate Italian bread dipped in olive oil with bits of asiago cheese and we chatted as Edward brought chunks of bread to his mouth, pretended to chew and then tossed the bread into the grass. It was something he did so he could feel more human and so I didn't always feel so lonely eating by myself. The practice was really funny at first, but I got used to it after a while, and only noticed when flocks of birds attacked the little piles food.

Edward played the guitar for me singing beautifully, of course. He made up these ridiculous songs and had me laughing at his off the wall sense of humor which, was more evident every day. It seemed the happier he was, the sillier his songs became.

We rolled over onto our bellies, propped ourselves on our elbows and Edward pulled out the photo album filled with some of the pictures of our trip. As I flipped through the pictures, we spoke of what our favorite part of the location was and our least favorite. We usually agreed that our favorite part was the sex, and our least favorite was the few days we did not have sex. On the last page, was a picture of Edward smiling on a beach in Greece sitting cross legged in the sand. Around him he had drawn a heart in the sand with a stick. We spent every moment together so I wondered why I didn't notice when the picture was taken.

I turned the next page to a picture of the same sand heart with writing in it that read:

_**Will you marry me?**_

I turned to Edward who was holding out a sparling gold ring in his palm which he later explained was his mother's. As he slipped it on my finger, without a doubt or question in my mind I responded, "Yes, absolutely yes! There is nothing that would make me happier."

His smile was the biggest that I had ever seen, and I knew that the idea of us being married gave Edward immeasurable joy. I could not imagine a world where Edward didn't exist in my life. I was not about to let him go because of my warped visions of marriage thanks to the influences that I was brought up around. However, seeing how his family, Esme and Carlisle, Alice and Jasper, and Emmet and Rosalie interacted in their marriages was all I needed to convince me.

Edward dried my tears as he explained Charlie had given him his blessing before we left which made sense as to why he was so emotional when we said our goodbyes. He was letting go of his little girl. I was so filled with joy and love for Edward it was impossible to think that there was a part of me that had ever been sad.

**Chapter 18**

I wore my rings proudly. Both of them connecting me to two different families, the Cullens which I had grown to love and the Masens, whose legacy was limited to the small bits of memories Edward was able to recall.

Three days after his proposal we were walking along the countryside picking wildflowers when we ran into the end of a wedding ceremony. The couple had just finished taking pictures with family and were piling into cars. The priest who officiated the wedding nodded at us smiling and spoke something in Italian that I did not understand. Edward approached him and conversed with the priest in perfect, fluent Italian.

"The priest wants to know if we are here to get married....Do you want to get married... right now?" Edward asked me with hopeful eyes. I looked at him and before I could say no, realized there was no reason I could even think of not doing it at that very moment. It was as if it was meant to be. I was wearing a white eyelet sun dress, Edward was in a white button down shirt and gray pants, and I was holding a bouquet of flowers. Taking my little camera out of my purse, I smiled and said yes, knowing that this tiny ceremony was so much better than the grand extravaganza that Alice would insist on. This was just for us, and it was perfect.

Edward pulled a few flowers from my bouquet and tucked them into my hair. We stood on the edge of the cliff, just Edward, myself, the priest and a guest from the other wedding who stayed behind and kindly agreed to snap pictures for us. We had no wedding rings, so I took off both of my tiny hoop earrings and used them as makeshift wedding bands. Along with the traditional vows that the priest said in very broken English, Edward and I said our own impromptu vows through joyful tears.

It was the most romantic wedding I could have ever imagined. Later that afternoon, we went into town and bought real wedding bands, his plain gold and mine gold with tiny diamonds in a row. Inscribed on the insides of each of the rings were the words_ I'm the lucky one._

We had the pictures developed and the one that was our favorite, printed up and made into postcards. We signed the backs,

_**From Tuscany with love, Edward and Isabella Cullen**_

We mailed one out to each one of our friends and family with the exception of Jacob. When I noticed one addressed to Tanya and her family in Denali I felt ashamed when I smiled, a bit too satisfied.

Charlie, Renee and of course the Cullens, we phoned immediately after the wedding. I called Jacob a few days after, but he had already heard the news from Charlie. It was a difficult conversation to say the least, but in the end Jacob was happy that I was happy.

Alice insisted that she throw us a reception when we returned home and neither Edward or I could argue because we could hear the disappointment of missing our wedding in her voice. Besides, we learned that she had already seen the wedding in advance and booked a restaurant for us to have the party in.

From that day forward, Edward and would exchange glances at each other, knowing that what we shared was much, much more than love. It was bigger and grander than either of us. It was absolutely extraordinary.

Whenever we were in crowded places, Edward would blindside me when I least expected it, by dropping to one knee and proposing. He would hold out this enormous fake diamond ring and profess his love for me, each time different and unique, and more over the top than the next. Crowds of people would stop and cheer when I said yes, some even snapping pictures. Most of the time I would roll my eyes and yell out, "We're already married!" but few people spoke English, so it was pointless. It happened so often that I stopped becoming embarrassed and just let him do it finding the sweetness and humor in his creativity. Once, just to change it up a bit, as he held out the silly ring, I screamed "No, No!" and ran off leaving him to drop his head in his hands and pretend to cry, with the onlookers devastated. We joked that we would join an improv actors group when we returned home.

While in Ireland, Edward received an urgent call from Carlisle. He had heard through a friend, that the Volturi's residence had been completely destroyed. There had been a terrible explosion of some sort, burning everything within the confines of the lair, including all of the vampires in it. The exits were bolted shut and somehow, they were not able to escape even from the tower. Carlisle's friend would not explain how he was informed of this event, but just that it was a well planned assassination leaving no survivors. This was both good and bad, considering they were the only 'police' that the vampires had. Obviously, the Volturi had more enemies than they anticipated. We didn't really know how to feel about it, but I knew from the conversation with Carlisle that it gave Edward one more excuse not to change me.

As long as our trip was, the time truly sped by. Edward said we could stay longer, but I really missed Charlie and the Cullens, and I knew he did as well. School would be starting soon, and I could not put that off again. We returned home at the end of July, having been gone a total of seven months. We attended Angela and Ben's wedding where she whispered to me in the quiet of the reception gardens that she was eight weeks pregnant.

A few weeks later, we had our own wedding reception with our closest family and friends in attendance Alice Cullen style. Jacob arrived late and left early leaving Billy behind to make excuses for him. Alice did a beautiful job with the arrangements, and Edward and I danced under the stars as our friends and families watched in awe. It was a beautiful night, and for the first time, I saw in Charlie's gaze that he trusted Edward to take care of his little girl and was happy for us. Renee and Phil actually made the trip as well and I could tell my mother was happy for me, if not the tiniest bit envious of my accomplishments and my good fortune in finding love with Edward.

Edward and I had moved into the doll house, as it came to be known, and I finished school three semesters later with Edward by my side in many of my classes. On the evening of my graduation, we had a small party with family in our yard and my father beamed at how proud he was.

Upon graduation, I quickly realized that a degree in English Literature qualified me to do very little in the real world. My options were high school English teacher and not much else. I knew Edward preferred if I didn't work at all, but I found the days of just hanging around the house and having sex leaving me feeling like I needed a bit more to stimulate the mind.

We drove to Forks once or twice a month to see Charlie and then straight to Portland to see the Cullens. While in Forks, Edward and I made a point of visiting our meadow whatever the weather. Our times there had become infinitely special, as we knew this was the place where we first fell in love.

Jacob and Edward eventually became friends, just giving up the fight after I forced them together on so many occasions. They discovered the only thing they had in common was me, but it was enough to keep them playing video games and talking cars while we were all together. It was hard for Jacob to trust Edward, considering he knew he was a vampire. I told him the truth years ago, knowing that it wasn't my secret to tell, but I never expected the Cullens to return to my life. Edward understood why I had to tell him, considering I was planning to be one of them. Besides, Jacob already knew in some ways. After all, he was the one who explained about the _Cold Ones_ in the first place.

Jacob eventually fell in love with Leah Clearwater's cousin Emily. She was a beautiful girl, and we were ecstatic for them both. They had their first baby, less than a year after they married and we visited them often. Seeing Edward interact with their baby was painful to watch, knowing that he would never have a child of his own. We had many conversations about it, but it always came down to the fact that I didn't want to bear a child that wasn't his, and he didn't care either way as long as I was happy. So we looked into adoption.

During one of our visits with Charlie, I came across my old diaries of when I had first moved from Arizona. I read through them, laughing at how stubborn and ungirlie I was. I let Edward read them, and he was grateful that I let him into something so personal to me, giving him another piece of my heart. He said it was much better than being able to read my mind.

He suggested I put the diaries into the computer as a memoir, and I did just that. When it was finished a few months after, I let the Cullens read it and every one of them urged I get it published under a pen name. The only thing I couldn't decide on was an appropriate title. 'Forks' sounded like a recipe book, 'Vampire Kiss' was way to trite, and 'The Lion and The Lamb ' seemed like an appropriate title for an animal hunting book. Then one evening while walking through the park, Edward was inspired by the ending of the day, and he suddenly blurted out, "Twilight." And so it we found our perfect title. After a lot of research and plenty of rejections, a publishing house picked it up and asked for two more books.

It was of course, a biography of my life, but it was marketed as fiction because who in their right mind would believe that vampires were real? I had intended for all of the names to be changed, but everyone insisted that I keep them-they all wanted their fifteen minutes of fame. We expected that it would be of interest to the young adult set, selling maybe a hundred copies if we were lucky. It's not like I was interested in the fame or money, because the last thing I wanted was to be the center of attention. The only reason I agreed to having it published I the first place was because our story was so beautiful and unique, I wanted to share it.

To our surprise, the book turned out to be an international phenomenon, selling millions of copies and launching an avalanche of book tours and television interviews. We hired an actress to take the role of me, the author, and she did all the press and interviews, while I happily sat back and watched from the shadows. She did a remarkable job, and we paid her handsomely.

Edward began writing his own version of how we met, and it was alarmingly insightful. He really did live up to his creepy stalker title. I saw through his eyes how much he deeply loved me as well as how much restraint it took to not kill me. It was confusing and terrifying but at the same time I was so glad he wrote it because it was a piece of us. It has yet to be published.

It took a great deal of strength to write the sequel, New Moon, knowing I would have to rehash the painful memories of that terrible time in my life. Edward literally and figuratively held my hand through it, and I knew it caused him great pain to read what his leaving had done to me. It was again, a memoir, only I realized that it got really boring after Edward left me in the woods. Just Jacob and I hanging out in his garage for six months was not interesting subject matter. Edward threw out suggestions and we wrote the book together, using Jacob's Quileute legends as inspiration. With the addition of werewolves and bad vampires, and of course the Volturi who were no longer a threat to any of us, the book was good, really good. Much more interesting than the real events that happened.

There were things that were from my real life that I added into the books. Edward had given me a locket for Christmas inscribed with' _Plu que ma propre vie' _which became Renesmee's in the fourth book. The motorcycles in New Moon were real, but not my idea, as they were actually Embry and Quil's and they were the ones in the emergency room. My wolf charm bracelet from Jacob was also real, as was Edward's diamond addition to it but his heart charm was added years later. Jasper bought Alice a yellow Porsche for Christmas, which was my inspiration for the car in Italy. Our little blue Victorian was the basis behind the stone cottage in Breaking Dawn. And Jacob's daughter was my inspiration for Renesmee.

The third book became even more fun as we wrote totally fictional adventures, again adding Jacob as a main character. Jacob and the La Push boys were beyond thrilled at there masculine werewolf roles that mirrored their heritage. Jacob loved the fact that fictional Bella professes her love for him, forced as it was. As much as he protested, Edward was eventually OK with the Bella falling in love with Jacob story line because he knew he won in the end, literally. He said he went along with it for "the good of creative literature."

To our surprise, we were eventually offered a movie deal. I only agreed to it because I was dying to see how it interpreted on screen. I signed a contract stipulating that the vampires were not to have fangs, and the story was supposed to stick to the events in the book. Edward came home one afternoon and angrily threw a magazine on the counter.

"Look at this, Bella, look!"

On the cover of the magazine were the actors that were cast to play us in the film. I laughed at the irony when I saw Robert Pattinson was chosen to play Edward Cullen. I thought he was a perfect choice.

Edward pouted for a week.

I hated to say good bye to fictional Edward and Bella, so I wrote one more book which turned out to be the most controversial and the most fantastic of all of them. I had every intention of giving fictional Bella and Edward a very happy ending, of course.

After I wrote Fictional Bella and Edward's wedding and honeymoon, with Edward's descriptions of Esme's Island, Edward asked me sadly if their wedding was what I had always wanted as opposed to our private cliff side ceremony.

I said, "Never, but their honeymoon was a very nice idea."

He made arrangements for us to go to Isle Esme when I came down with a terrible case of the flu. After two weeks of throwing up, I finally went to the doctor at Edward's insistence and found I did not have the flu.

I was pregnant.

We immediately called Carlisle, packed our bags and drove to Portland. We moved into Edward's now fully furnished guest house where Carlisle could keep a close watch on the pregnancy, as none of us knew what to expect. I overheard him tell Edward he should prepare me because the chances were very likely that I would miscarry, my body rejecting the fetus. However, to our shock and elation, the pregnancy went as normal as one should go. I had an amniocentesis and a slew of blood work revealing that everything was completely normal and that the baby was, to all of our surprise, completely human. Well, human with _benefits._

Since this had never happened before that any of them knew of, Carlisle and Edward did tremendous amounts of research, and devised many theories. But the one that seemed to make the most sense, as unbelievable as it was, was the cryogenics theory. Carlisle thought that since Edward was a young verile teenager when he was changed, his body temperature literally froze the healthy sperm within him. When he was with me, the only possibility was that my body temperature and friction thawed it out and thus, pregnancy occurred.

Hearing this fantastic theory, Emmett said, "Talk about hot sex," which then became the running joke of the family.

The baby grew slightly bigger and faster than it should have, and my due date kept changing. Seven months into the pregnancy, my water broke and three hours later, I delivered a healthy baby boy in our living room. We named him Masen.

He was absolutely gorgeous, a little clone of Edward with the same bronze hair and Edwards piercing green eyes from before he was changed. Masen was the sweetest baby, slept and ate like any typical baby should. Edward was a doting father. He changed diapers, read all the baby books and I never had to wake for three AM feedings, because Edward never slept.

What we did not expect was how gifted Masen would be. He spoke his first word at five months, walked at six months and was reading by the time he was one. He was an incredible swimmer, able to hold his breath underwater for several minutes at a time. One afternoon, I came out into the living room to hear Masen, not Edward, playing the piano. "Mama's ludd-aboy," he called it. Edward had taught him once while he sat on his lap, and Masen performed it exactly as Edward had.

He was also a typical toddler, causing mischief and mayhem as toddlers often do. His favorite practice was to open up the kitchen cabinets and empty all the Tupperware on to the floor and then put it all back in perfect size order. He would make us laugh when he clomped around the house wearing Edward's big shoes. He was the absolute joy of our lives.

Inspired by my own life, I completed the fourth book adding fictional Bella's remarkable pregnancy and the terrible, but exciting events that followed, including Bella's change into a vampire. I wanted Edward to be the one who saved everyone in the end, but it was Edward's idea to make fictional Bella the heroine of the story. He said it was time I was the one doing the saving.

The subject of my 'changing' had been put on hold temporarily. Since we were under the impression that Masen would live and die as any human, I could not bear to outlive him if I was a vampire. We thought that if I did go through with it, then when Masen was old enough we would tell him the truth and let him make the decision to be changed as well. If not, then when Masen and I died naturally, Edward would go as well. It was not something that I cared to think about, but I understood as I could not go on without him either. We finally came to the agreement that he would change me before I turned 24.

We eventually moved out of the guest house into a home a few minutes from The Cullen's. It had a huge garage for all the cars Edward collected and a swimming pool in the back for Masen. The house was grander than I would have liked, as I still preferred the simpler things. The only request I had made was for a wraparound porch with a swing, as sitting on the swing with Edward were some of my favorite times at the other house. It was as close to Anne of Green Gables as it got.

Renee came to visit often, adoring Masen but always muttering that she was too young to be a grandmother. She looked around at my family and at the home we had made and said, " Bella sweetheart, you lead a charmed life." Those words could not have been more true.

When Masen was a little over one year old, we discovered his most amazing and precious gift. The three of us were walking home from the park, Masen in the middle of us holding each of our hands. He was in his "why" phase and Edward was patiently answering all of his questions. I was thinking about how I didn't feel like making chicken for dinner and that I would order take out sushi instead. Masen looked toward Edward and said, "Mama wants sooo-sheee."

I looked at Edward amazed and said, "He just heard my thoughts." I pictured a ball in my head. Masen said, "Let's play wif the ball!"

Edward wanted to try as well, but nothing happened. We figured out that if Masen was holding both mine and Edward's hands, he could hear just me.

We kept it our secret for a while, playing with it and sharing our thoughts privately. It was only a few weeks later when Masen was "listening" to me, that Edward casually, out of habit, reached for my free hand. I instantly heard Edward's voice in my head as did Masen. "Daddy loves Mama!" he squealed. We discovered that when the three of us held hands in a circle, we could hear eachother's minds. I was able to see into Edward's head, as he was into mine. Masen's gift was actually his gift to us.

With my 24th birthday steadily approaching, we set the date for the "change' and made arrangements for Masen's care. It terrified me to leave him for such an indefinite amount of time, but no one thought it would be a good idea to have a wild newborn vampire around a human child. I started having second thoughts, but I realized that there really was no other way for me to stay with Edward. As I wrote in the book, I refused to be looked at as his mother when I was an aging fifty and he was still perfect at seventeen.

The morning that it was supposed to happen, Alice came to the house screaming and banging on the door in a fury. She threw a box of pregnancy tests at me and explained that she had a vision.

Seven months later, we had a beautiful healthy baby girl with chocolate brown curls and green eyes like Masen's. She looked just like me, but with Edward's eyes. We named her Meadow.

Christmas morning just after Meadow was born, Masen woke me up eager for me to open my gifts. He and Edward had made me an adorable jewelry box covered in glitter and feathers and elbow macaroni. Inside was an antique locket, inscribed in French with a picture of the four of us on one side. It was one of my most treasured possessions, and I never took it off.

After Masen opened his gifts and we got ready to go to Carlisle and Esme's, we waited on the front porch swing for Charlie and Sue to arrive. We leaned our heads together and held hands as I silently told them how much I loved them and how happy they all made me.

Christmastime was purely magical now. Everything I had ever wanted and everything I never knew I wanted was mine. I had more love than I could imagine, and that was all that mattered.

I whispered to Edward, "You have given me more than I could have ever dreamed."

His response was, "So did you. Merry Christmas, Love."

From the outside as a passerby in the street, we were just a picture perfect family. And we _were_ perfect.

Perfect with a few secrets. I was never the kind of person who believed in fairy tales, especially not one where I got to have the happy ending. I chuckled at the thought of Edward as my Prince Charming, knowing Edward was so, so much more than that.

I guess in the end, the clumsy plain girl who moved to a far away land and met the 'man' of her dreams really is the story of the fair maiden and her knight in shining armor who ultimately live happily ever after.

And it is our story.

**THE END**

**Thank you to every one who read this story, my first attempt at writing anything. I left it open for you to decide whether Bella becomes a vampire or not. Ideally, I think, that by the time she was 25 years old, Edward would have changed her.**


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